Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Wizard...Illuminating my mind.... {from...'Taxi'...}

As...I sit...this morn...
Sorting....through my thoughts...
Listening...to Harry Chapin..
'Taxi'....
 the..
Too Many Miles...
and
Too Little Smiles...
all...the
Fairy Tales...
oh my...
Life...
I feel Like a Walking Suit of Armour...
that's filled...with Marshmallow...Cream....
inside...
When I left the Hospital...night before last...
I was spinning...
The Nurses told me...the Dr. wanted me to meet with another Dr. and Palliative Care....
{in other words....he wanted me...to be persuaded to throw in the towel...let Mom...go back to the Care Center...and...die...}
I told the Nurses...
I was going Home....
Would be sleeping with my phone...
and....when the Dr. came in...to make rounds...to call me...
If it was at 5:00 a.m. I didn't care....
I could be there...in 10 minutes...
They assured me...he wouldn't be through...until 7:30...at the earliest...
so...
I was there at 7...
The Dr. had been there at 5:30
My Fist...Hit The Side of Mom's Bed....
I said...
I told You All....and Have it in Writing...for the Dr.
I Need to Talk...to Him...
and...Wanted to Be Here...
I was frantic...
and
Wept....
He had signed her release....to leave....
I said..."What You Don't Seem to Understand....is Mom Wants to Live.... Palliative Care...is Not an Option....Mom put me in charge of here care...and Trusted me...to speak...for her...Many...Many...Years Ago..
That is My Job....and Intend to Follow her Wishes...to the Very Best of My Ability...
{She doesn't want to be kept alive...by extraordinary...measures...just...whatever...would be available... to Folks...my age...}
 Her Wishes...for Now...are to Live....
When she's ready to Go Home...with The Lord....
 I'll Honor Those Wishes....as well....
" I Told them...I'm Tired of everyone writing her off...
and not aggressively treating her...with meds...
 that will help her....like they would do...for someone...younger...."
 {I had a List...of Meds... Liz gave me...for Folks with Congestive Heart Failure....
Mom wasn't being given those...}
and...what she was being given...wasn't being given...aggressively...
I asked when her other Dr. was coming....They didn't know...
I said...I'll wait...
and did...
He came in...around 11:00
I had never met him...but had visited with him...over Mom's stay....
He is a Young.....Caring....Man....
I said...to him...
"Sir....it was just yesterday...I was Your Age...I Blinked...
Now....I'm nearly 50....
Tomorrow...I'll be...Mom's age...and...You won't be Far...behind..."
I said..."When...I was Twenty...I thought...If I see Fifty...that will be good enough...a long...life... But...I have to say...I'm Not Ready to Go...Just...as Mom...isn't...at 92..."
Quality of Life...should be decided...by those...Living It....
I said...at this point...Mom wants to Live....
and...
I said...
"Sir... Make It Happen"...
I asked him...If this was his Mother...would he be sending her home...
They kept her....
and..have added some meds....
She is doing...much better...
and... I think... she may be going home...today....
Mom and I know...all any of us have... is this moment...we are all dying...from the day we are born...
But...
God...Planned...for each and everyone of us...on this Earth... a
 'Journey'...
Whether it be...for a moment... or...a Hundred Years...
We...all have something...to contribute...and...it may not be for our...benefit... it may be...for someone..we meet...touch...for only a Moment....
and...No One... should take that Opportunity...from us....
or...hinder it...
That...is For Our Lord... to decide....
Love...to You...
Barb C.
{I had parked Jethro...in a bad spot...so...while The Nurses...were helping Mom...I ran...to move him...When I rushed back...in the Hospital...a Lovely Lady...was stepping into the Elevator...I yelled.."Hey, Girl...Hold That Door!!! : )" She looked at me...as we were going up...and said..
"You have a Beautiful Aura,...You Really Do!
You...are a Good Person!"....
I was Stunned...Threw...my Arms Around Her...Hugged Her...and said...
"Merry Christmas!!! I Love You....You...are Just...what I needed! "
 {an Angel...}
 and...said...there was a Dr. on the 7th floor...who...may not agree...at this moment... : )
Thanks...so Much..To Don and Judy...
{my Cousin and her Husband...} for coming to visit Mom...
Mom Sang Czech Songs...for us...like Judy's Mom, Helen...{Mom's Late Sister}...
 used to Sooooo Enjoy Singing...
It was...Lovely...
Thanks...to Cindy N. who wrote me...the Most Amazing E-Mail...
When God...Dipped His Pen...in her Heart....
Thank You....
Love...to Them...
Much...Love...to Them...
{John...gave me...some very Bad News...when I got home...last Night...
His...Wonderful Cousin..Albert Avis...had passed away...yesterday...
What a Caring Soul...
He Helped...So Many....
{most Folks..never knew...what a Giving Person..he was..to Soooo Many.. : ) }
John...and Justin will be Pallbearers....Tuesday...
God Bless His Soul... Love...and Prayers...to His Family....}
 
 
 


1 comment:

earlene said...

Best wishes for all of you!
Good thing you were there!