Friday, December 7, 2012

Too Many Miles... Too little smiles...{ lyrics...from Harry Chapin 'Taxi'...}

After visiting Mom...in the Hospital...this Eve...
{I spent several hours...with her...}
Attempted to feed her...her Supper...
and... helped the Nurses...transfer her... from the potty...back...to bed....
she is so weak...
and...her breathing... is so...difficult....
{they are wanting to release her... in the morn...I took her...clothes...in...for the trip...}
oh my...
There is no...way...she should....go home...
another...'Bus Ride'...
I don't think...so...
I told the Nurses...
I will be back...Very...Early...in the Morn...
I want the Dr. to tell me... He...or She...
would put...their Mother... on a Bus...
in her condition...
I told her Nurse...I'd be sleeping...with my phone...
and Call....if they needed me....
If...I didn't answer...
Call...again...and again...
{I am...so...weary....}
I'll be there...
While I found my way...to the car...
my mind...racing...
I wanted to... escape...
just......sit...and listen...to Jazz...
Yes...
Escape...
{The Light House...}
Jethro... took....to The Highway....instead...
We Drove...and Drove...
{better...than 'Jazz'... on this 'Journey'...}
and...then...
Home....
I sat down...and searched...for 'Music'...
my...therapy...
when I got here...
and...landed on Harry Chapin...
"Taxi"...
There..is something...about...'The Journey'...
We...All... Have One...
Even...Harry...: )
It...was Good...
I sat...and had a Visit...with The Lord...this Morn...
and told him...
" I've had...enough....Lord...You're going to have to...carry...the Load...for awhile..."
{you see....there is Much More....to my...'Journey'...that only...He...and I know... : ) }
 I'll leave it...at that...
and...
Trust...
Yes...
There have been
 "Too Many Miles...with Too...little smiles"...
Love...to ya...
Barb C.
 
 
The Highway.....
Thank...The Lord...for...The Highway...
Yes..I do...
{Amy...Thanks...for The Wine... It's come in...handy...this Eve... : ) }
My Polly....
She Never...leaves my Side....
 She Knows...
She...Tries....to
 'comfort'...
She...Worries....
yes...
She...Knows....
My...Little...Angel....
{As...I sat...with Mom...tonight... I thought...
"This...is Out...of My Hands..."...
I felt...like... I was out of...options... for her...
such... a 'Helpless'......Place...to be...
for a 'Guardian'...
I have looked after...my Folks...
Forever...
Fought...Many...Battles...
and...have won...
With Dad... I couldn't be there... was not...aware...
but...with Mom...
I have been there... Every Single Step...
of the way...
but...
at this point...
I can't help her....
I can't...make her Heart...Stronger...
or...
Her Lungs...Breathe...Easier...
That...
Breaks...my Heart... 
it...Breaks...
My Heart...
{after I reread this...
 I want to clarify...
I will Stand...Tall...and Fearlessly.......
Against... Any...Person...Place...or..Thing...
that stands in the way...of Mom's...
or...The Ones...I Love...
Well Being...
but...
The Fight...we have now...
isn't as simple...as a Panel of Doctors....
or...any...'Authority'...figure...
It is Something...Much...Bigger...
I Encountered...this Evening...
That is what
Jethro...and I were Escaping From....}
yet...make...no mistake...
 I'll....Fight...for her...until...
she says...
"Enough"...
 
 


4 comments:

Kari from Meadowview Farm said...

Years ago, after watching my own mother enter the "winter" of her life.....I asked her Oncologist, "when is enough enough?" His answer to me, her youngest, her shadow...was, "when you say so". The two greatest purposes of my life was to bring my son into this world...and to be with my mom as she left.

Peace to you, Barb. These are slippery winter roads....stay true north.

Kari

Amy N said...

glad to give you libation support
hang in honey!!

simplyiowa said...

Love...to You...Kari...and....
Thank You...
Barb C.

simplyiowa said...

Love...to ya....Amy... : )