Sunday, January 15, 2023
Home.
Long... day.
: )
Sat down...last night, and began to try...to write.
Couldn't.
Instead, just sat here...and looked around.
: )
Counted Blessings.
The Old...Locust Trees, through the windows.
So Grateful... for them.
Those Beautiful... Old, Old... Locusts, Still Stand.
; )
That didn't just... 'Happen'.
If it wasn't for our Lawyer....
they'd be gone.
Was thinking about all of the people, I've known throughout my life, and how incredibly blessed I've been by them.
Guess... after losing Eric, last week, it's made me think a lot.
The people we meet, that are put on our paths, for a moment, or decades...are
like the old saying goes,
'A Blessing'
or...
'A Lesson'.
: )
Gratefully, speaking for myself, The Blessings, far outweigh The Lessons.
<3
As Justin and I were visiting the other evening, he said... how difficult it is at his Home.
Everywhere he looks, he sees Eric.
Eric helped Justin so much with building, and repairing.
Told him, I so understand.
When I'm down The Rabbit Hole, I see Peg, and John...everywhere.
I couldn't even walk inside this room, for years, unless it was a holiday.
Kept the pocket doors shut, and lived on the other side.
Took many years...before I could open the door to John's room.
I was always so grateful for Brandon, Eric...and so many of Justin's Friends, for hanging out, at John's Shop... with Justin, so much... especially right after John went away.
Liz gave Justin some framed pictures of John, for the Shop... for Christmas, this year.
Justin... melted.
We all did.
I was talking with the Kids, and...said... I don't know why...we haven't had John's picture there, before now.
Never crossed my mind.
I know John's Friends, who stop by... would love to see them.
The only thing I can think of, maybe... John's picture, there...would be some sort of confirmation...that he isn't.
I don't know.
Grief is a very strange thing.
I have some very old home movies, from when I was a Kid.
I know... Dad is on them.
I've never been able to watch them, since he passed away.
That... was in 1987.
yet...
watching the video of Eric, and Justin...brings me so much joy.
Justin, too.
Liz asked me, many years ago... what is the saying I always remind her of, when we lose someone we Love.
I told her...
"It's better to have Loved, and Lost... than to have never Loved at all."
{Our Beloved, Black German Shepherd, Molly... had just passed away.}
I, didn't know why... Liz was asking me about it, at the time.
Liz... had that tattooed on her wrists, in Memory...of Molly.
I don't put everything into words, and spell...everything out.
I, will... someday.
This has been a difficult post to write.
I've edited it, deleted...it, basically made a mess of it.
Pal, Mark... is stopping by in a bit, we're finishing up the details for The Anamosa Show.
I'll be writing about that, mostly... until Showtime.
: )
There are days... I wonder, is it better to have loved, and lost?
{The 'losing'...part, is... real difficult.}
ultimately... up, 'til now...I, can see that it is.
Some days.... it take's me a bit, to remember that.
It's The Blessings, that keep reminding us, that it is.
<3
Love to Ya.
Prayers... for All.
Barb C.
Friday, January 13, 2023
The Boys.
Pulled the old...old, mid 1800's or...so, 'God Speed the Plough'... mug, from the cupboard, that's long ago...missing both of it's handles, to sip tonight's Toddy from.
: )
Found it... many, many... years ago.
: )
Kind of like The Rabbit Hole,
our Home... isn't a place to seek 'perfection'.
<3
: )
Load's of Beauty, and Soulfulness...
but, very little...if any, 'perfection'.
<3
Son, Justin... called a bit ago.
<3
He's taking Eric's death...so incredibly hard.
They've been Pal's, 'Brothers'... really, for over 18 years.
We've always had Kids...here, over the years.
Several...stayed here, over the years, when they had no other place to stay, when our Kid's were still at Home.
They... All became Family.
: )
Mostly...Boys.
Justin's Pals.
: )
People often get confused when I say...
"The Boys"... are helping me.
They... think they are My 'Boys'.
: )
well...
guess, They Are.
<3
Justin's Friend, Levi, who stayed with us...over 20 years ago... still calls me, to chat.
: )
He...lives in Oklahoma, now.
: )
I was thinking... last night, how Eric... would always say "Hello Mother!!!"... when I'd see him at the shop.
Hahahahahaha!!
: )
{I think that was Eric's way of Warning... The Boys,
"Mama's In The Room!!!"
Straighten Up!! Hahahaha!!!}
<3
I...Always, had The Boys' Backs.... no matter,
however....
If they got themselves into a pinch, they shouldn't have...
I'd have their Back's...
; )
then...
when I got them Home...
I'd Have Them By
Their Ear Lobes.
; )
<3
John, and I rarely dis-agreed.
Some of our biggest arguments, were over The Boys, over the decades.
: )
{John... was easier on The Boys, than Mama...was.
; )
John... was also a 'Lost Boy'...himself, growing up.}
: (
He deserved 'better', growing up.
Much.
<3
Make no mistake... I've seen John take Justin by the scruff of his collar, a time, or two.
Oh...dear.
All of The Boys, who've lived here.... over the decades, loved and respected John.
<3
They... were all cut from the same cloth, in many ways.
sadly.
They all... have that Big, Tuff... Exterior, but... I could always see right through all of that.
: )
They...All, have Heart's like Marshmallows.
<3
Tender.
Tender.
<3
Tender.
Eric... was one of 'The Boys'.
: )
Told Justin, tonight... that his security camera video, has saved me...over the last couple of days.
<3
Those Tuff... Tattooed Boys, {Justin, and Eric} being put on The Run... by a Bumblebee,
well...
says it all.
<3
oh...my.
<3
Justin said... he pulled that video up, last night, after we visited.
: )
<3
He Laughed, and Laughed...
priceless.
<3
Love to Ya...
Prayers, for All.
Barb C.
{Justin told me, tonight... he was sent images of Eric's car, from the scene.
Justin, asked me if I wanted to see them.
Nope.
I've seen enough.
So Sorry that Justin had to. }
Thursday, January 12, 2023
Anamosa Antique & Vintage Market. January 29, 2023.
Working on The Anamosa Show...today.
It'll be here...
before we know it.
Been visiting with some of the Vendors.
They...are Excited, and will be bringing some very Cool...
Treasures, as Always.
: )
Make Plans to Attend.
<3
Love to Ya...
Prayers, for All.
Barb C.
Wednesday, January 11, 2023
With a Heavy... Heavy, heart.
Received some very, sad...sad... news, this morning.
Eric Taylor, {Helper, Eric} was killed in a car accident, yesterday, not far from here.
We're All...in Shock.
Son, Justin... and Eric, were so very close.
Eric...was such a Blessing to our Family.
{The Grandkid's Adored Eric. <3 }
<3
With a phone call... Eric would be here, to help us.
Eric was Scout's Pal... always helping with his fences, and helped me button up the barn, after Scout's passing.
Eric...was just here, helping, 'Fixing'... the kitchen sink, and plumbing... a couple of weeks ago.
I...remember Thanking Him So!!
<3
I was So Incredibly Grateful... still am, for Eric...getting everything Going.
<3
That sink hadn't worked right for two years.
Since the basement flooded.
Eric fixed the pipe in the basement, and replaced the well's pressure tank, when that all went down.
Every Morning... since Eric fixed the sink, and replaced the faucet, I...Thank Him, in my mind...when I run water to make coffee.
Blessing...
Blessing.
<3
Eric... wasn't a plumber, or a carpenter... but, he Always did his Best, and never Gave Up.. on any project.
He was Such...a Hard Worker.
<3
When I paid Eric...for fixing the sink, he said... "Are you sure? Are you sure?"
: )
Oh My God, Yes!!!
: )
{Wished it could've been More!!}
asked Eric...if he had Any Idea... how Grateful I was.
{Eric... SHOWED UP!!! The 'Plumber'... Didn't. }
Eric helped me Load... countless trucks, over the years.
When IDOT made us move Everything...in a Hurry, Eric...was Right Here.
: )
He helped move concrete...and buildings, the '49 Ford....
oh...my.
When the derecho hit, it was like a war zone, here.....
Eric brought his chain saw, and helped Justin make some sense of this Mess.
I knew...Eric had a difficult life, but... he never complained.
: )
Many times, I'd invite Eric to join us at Family Gatherings.
He...never would.
Eric, was kind of a loner, when it came to 'Gatherings'.
<3
Dad, and John... were kind of that way, too.
If you'd ask for 'help'... they'd be there... in a minute.
: )
Ask them to a 'Gathering'... no, not so much.
<3
: )
Very Humble.
Very... Kind.
Eric helped me load the FUSO, I was in a huge hurry to get on the road...
Eric heard a muffler clamp rattling, and insisted he fix it before I took off.
I told him it could wait, not to worry about it.
Eric wouldn't hear of it.
So...So, incredibly sad.
Eric was there for Justin, and the Grandkids, So Much.... last year, when everything went south.
Eric set up cameras, for me...around Thanksgiving, when all of the Strange things were happening.
<3
We're all in disbelief.
Life...can change, in an instant.
We all know that.
doesn't make it easy to understand, or comprehend.
Fairfarren...
Eric Taylor.
You... will be Deeply Missed, by Many.
{Been watching the video... Son, Justin... sent me back in July, 2020... where he, and Eric were Fighting a Bumble Bee.
<3
{you can go to the top left corner, and search the blog for the "Shame on me" post. I posted it on FB, too. }
Every time I'd see Eric, including our last visit... told him, when I'm having a bad day.... I bring up that security video.
: )
I...can't help...but laugh.
<3
We All... laugh about it, now.
: )
we did.
<3
I've watched it 50 times, today.
yes...
I've laughed. }
<3
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