Home.

Long... day.

: )

Sat down...last night, and began to try...to write.

Couldn't.

Instead, just sat here...and looked around.

: )

Counted Blessings.

The Old...Locust Trees, through the windows.

So Grateful... for them. 

Those Beautiful... Old, Old... Locusts, Still Stand.

; )

That didn't just... 'Happen'. 

If it wasn't for our Lawyer....

they'd be gone.

Was thinking about all of the people, I've known throughout my life, and how incredibly blessed I've been by them.

Guess... after losing Eric, last week, it's made me think a lot.

The people we meet, that are put on our paths, for a moment, or decades...are

 like the old saying goes, 

'A Blessing'

or...

'A Lesson'.

: )

Gratefully, speaking for myself, The Blessings, far outweigh The Lessons.

<3

As Justin and I were visiting the other evening, he said... how difficult it is at his Home.

Everywhere he looks, he sees Eric.

Eric helped Justin so much with building, and repairing.

Told him, I so understand.

When I'm down The Rabbit Hole, I see Peg, and John...everywhere.

I couldn't even walk inside this room, for years, unless it was a holiday.

Kept the pocket doors shut, and lived on the other side.

Took many years...before I could open the door to John's room.

I was always so grateful for Brandon, Eric...and so many of Justin's Friends, for hanging out, at John's Shop... with Justin, so much... especially right after John went away.

Liz gave Justin some framed pictures of John, for the Shop... for Christmas, this year.

Justin... melted.

We all did.

I was talking with the Kids, and...said... I don't know why...we haven't had John's picture there, before now.

Never crossed my mind.

I know John's Friends, who stop by... would love to see them.

The only thing I can think of, maybe... John's picture, there...would be some sort of confirmation...that he isn't.

I don't know.

Grief is a very strange thing.

I have some very old home movies, from when I was a Kid.

I know... Dad is on them.

I've never been able to watch them, since he passed away.

That... was in 1987.

yet... 

watching the video of Eric, and Justin...brings me so much joy.

Justin, too. 

Liz asked me, many years ago... what is the saying I always remind her of, when we lose someone we Love.

I told her...

"It's better to have Loved, and Lost... than to have never Loved at all."

{Our Beloved, Black German Shepherd, Molly... had just passed away.}

I, didn't know why... Liz was asking me about it, at the time.

Liz... had that tattooed on her wrists, in Memory...of Molly.

I don't put everything into words, and spell...everything out.

I, will... someday. 

This has been a difficult post to write.

I've edited it, deleted...it, basically made a mess of it.

Pal, Mark... is stopping by in a bit, we're finishing up the details for The Anamosa Show.

I'll be writing about that, mostly... until Showtime.

: )

There are days... I wonder, is it better to have loved, and lost?

{The 'losing'...part, is... real difficult.}

ultimately... up, 'til now...I, can see that it is.

Some days.... it take's me a bit, to remember that.

It's The Blessings, that keep reminding us, that it is.

<3

Love to Ya.

Prayers... for All.

Barb C.