Finding... 'Center'.

Above...are a few pictures, from Christmas...a while back.

<3

Ran across them, yesterday...as I elevated in John's old...Lazy Boy.

I've lived in it...for a week, now.

oh my.

The Crane...and, Old...Truck, remind me of hauling Scrap Iron...to Katz Salvage...

in Marion, Iowa...when I was a teen.

<3 <3 <3 

Henry Katz...would come out, now, and then...and meet me on the scale.

Throw...cash on the dash of the Old...Ford, and tell me to go buy myself...something.

: )

I always tried to give it back...but, he wouldn't hear of it.

: )

He always called me 'The Barefoot Princess'!!!

Hahahahaha...

He always told the Guys, in the Yard...over the loud speaker...

{oh my... ; ( }

"Boys!!! The Barefoot Princess is coming in...Unload her Truck!!"

Hahahaha!!!

{I, Always...helped the Boys unload, anyway.}

I suppose Henry was worried about me cutting my feet, in the Yard.

The soles of my bare feet, were probably Tuffer than the soles of Henry's shoes.

Hahahaha!!!

Henry...was quite...a 'Kat'. 

; )

I was going to write, last night...but, I pushed a little too hard, yesterday...I guess.

oh my.

I...simply couldn't make it up the stairs...one more time. 

Took half...of one of those high powered pain killers, and settled in.

Made the mistake...of cutting back on the massive doses of anti-inflammatories, for the constant nerve pain.

Big... mistake.

oh dear.

The pain...makes me dizzy. It truly...does.

oh my.

Conducted as much business...over the phone, as I could...yesterday.

Received a call from The Detective...concerning the theft, a few weeks ago.

: )

He's so Great!

oh my.

He said... "I have your property, so...when would you like to come by, and pick it up?"

: )

Hahahaha....

I, told him... I'd had a bit of a 'mishap'.

; )

He asked what had happened.

: )

I, told him...and, went on to tell him, I'd been told it could be weeks, or...months, before I can get out.

Then, said....'My Timeline'...is considerably shorter.

; )

He paused...and, said... "I believe...You can make that happen."

Hahahaha!!!!

That...made my day. 

He went on, and offered to help me... with the property, any way he could.

So Kind.

: )

Visited with my Beloved...Fairfax State Savings Bank, {Jon} asked him if he could transfer some money for me.

{No...on-line Banking for me. Sorry, I simply.... don't trust cyber...stuff.}

I told Jon...about my mishap...and, that I can't walk outside, and...sure appreciate him helping me with this.

He said... {I...teared up....: ( }

"Oh...Barb, We're Here...for You, at The Bank!!!

 If You Need Anything! Even...just a Cup of Coffee, we'll bring it to you."

<3 <3 <3 

You See...That's Why...I Love my Bank!!!

I, told Jon...that, Again.

<3

They...are 'Family'.

Truly.

<3 <3 <3 

I've been doing a lot...of 'Observation'... over the last few days.

So many things, and people...have crossed my mind.

Finding...'Center'...really hit home.

I've been so 'Off Centered'....for so long.

Completely off balance.

When I reflect, over the last several years, I can see....how it's crept up on me.

Kind of like a needle, on an old record.

Slowly...as the warped...old record spins, the needle keeps inching away from where it should be.

I...see, very plainly...what needs to change.

Me.

I need to start the 'Record'...over, again.

Gloves...off.

'Home'...isn't 'Home'.... anymore.

That, will never change.

Just, as when Mr. Miller, tried to give me Pick...of his Horses, after Little Red, was killed...because his Stallion had run our Horses through the fence.

Little Red, wasn't a 'Pony'...he was my Life.

My Friend.

My...'Everything'.

He...was Gone, and...never coming back.

Just...as this IDOT/Fairfax's....Cheating, Butchering, has also taken away 'Everything'.....so, so....

wrongfully.

The worst, they took...beside our Land, wrongfully...

was my 'Trust'.

That's been Crushing.

Everything...I so loved, truly...holds little for me, anymore.

When, I couldn't 'find' Christmas....this year, for the First time...in my life, I knew....it was all over.

So...when I find my feet, {literally} set...my 'Business' Cap...on straight.

Gloves...off, I'm going to put things in action.

Pivoting in an entirely different direction.

It'll most likely...take me a year, or better....to put things in order.

I've been awfully spoiled, loving my 'Job'.

The 'soulfulness'...of it.

That's a Gift, I never knew how Blessed I was...to have, until...

it was cheated...away from me.

Wow.

I'm not 'whipped'....; )

Trust me.

I'm done, with the Life I once...loved so.

It's just...not for me, anymore.

That's...been stolen.

It'll never be returned.

It...can't be.

Ever.

It's Gone.

So...after, I get everything settled, here....

I'm taking another direction, with my life.

Until...I get this behind me, I have no idea...what 'it' will be.

{God...knows. <3 }

but....

I, guarantee...it will be something, I can find 'Passion'...and...contentment, in.

I've got to get back...to my 'Center'.

I...will.

<3

This...is the first step.

; )

Please...keep me, in your Prayers.

<3 <3 <3 

Love...the above quote.

It's So True.

<3 <3 <3 

Those Truly....Are The Best Three Words.

Ever.

May God Bless Those, Who Genuinely... Speak Them, and...Mean It.

<3 <3 <3 

Love...to You.

Prayers, for All.

Barb C.

{I keep thinking about Patti, who said to me...several months ago....how, she saw 'The Rabbit Hole'...rising from the wrongful...ashes, as a 'Cameo'. <3 <3 <3 

It...took me awhile, but...I finally, saw it, too. <3 

The Rabbit Hole, Is....a 'Cameo'.

It's...just, not 'my'...Cameo, anymore. }

{Oh...my Lord.

Just found my way...to the shower.

Haven't done that, for a week. Peanut...couldn't stand to be near me.

While carefully...getting dressed, oh my God... 

It Hit...me, like a Ton...of Bricks.

: (

The Rabbit Hole...is my...'Little Red'.

: ( : ( : (

No...wonder, this wrongfulness...has been so difficult.

I, plainly see...now.

Those at IDOT District 6, and...Those, at Fairfax City Hall who are Behind All of This....

Wrongfulness...

Are the unapologetic, loud, threatening...foolish  ' Drunk Driver' who  killed him.

I'll never...forget that man.

or...

seeing Little Red's lifeless...body, in the ditch, and...understanding, somehow...Little Red, was not coming back.

He...was gone.

Just...like The Rabbit Hole.

Just...like Christmas.

Maybe, that's Really...Why, I have such admiration....for Sheriff Deputies, too.

That Deputy, on the scene...put the 'Drunk'...in his place.

I was only 4, but...you don't forget things...like that.

Ever.

Wow.

Many...parallels. 

Even...the feelings, I have concerning All of The 'Drunks'.

I, don't hate...anyone.

I've never been able to do that.

Just...like, way...back then.

I...feel Nothing, concerning these 'Drunks'.

Absolutely Nothing.

Maybe, a hint...of pity, now...recognizing.. their ignorance.

I'm so grateful...for this 'Understanding' today. 

It'll help me move forward with my life...and let go, of what They've Wrongfully Stolen...without any regrets. 

Like...with Little Red, let The Law, handle The Unlawful.

God...will handle me, and the rest. <3 }