oh dear....

oh...dear.

Truer words were never written...when I'm coming down....

off of steroids.

: (

{Some...might argue, that's a pretty accurate 'statement' anytime. ; ) }

I've got to go out...into the 'Public'...today.

oh dear.

Celebration of Life, for Dear Friend, Tom Nutt, this afternoon.

That's gonna be tuff.

I, Loved Tom, and his Beautiful Wife, Cindy Lou.

Tom's Son, Mark...is like a Brother....to me.

They're all...'Family'. 

<3 <3 <3 

Too many losses, this year. 

Too....many.

then....

Granddaughter, Miss. Meadow's 5th. Birthday Party.

oh my.

They grow up, so fast.

Got up...at 5:30....and started getting ready, to take this day...on.

It takes me a Long...Time, to find my head, when it feels like it's gonna spin off of my neck.

wow.

I feel like 'Bettlejuice'....when his head spins.

oh my.

Hopefully, I'll be the only one, who sees it.

: )

Steroids, are a Lifesaver....to many.

They, are...in fact, to me.

but...

oh my.

Tapering off, is an ugly...ugly, thing....for me.

I taper off, for a long...time.

I know, from years ago...when I tapered off too quickly, it threw me into a Mess.

It shocked my system.

That...was Very....Ugly.

I'm hoping, since I took such small amounts, this won't last much longer.

oh dear...oh..dear.

: (

I, can function...but, in my head...I don't know 'why'...I'm 'functioning'???

'Why...are my hands washing dishes???'

they keep working...but, why....are they working???

It's very unsettling.

I sit...and write, with buckets of tears....flooding my face, for no reason...whatsoever.

They won't stop.

I'm not sad....

{not any more...than usual.}

I'm not a 'pill' taker, of any kind.

Never have been.

My body, doesn't do 'drugs'..of any kind, well.

I stay away from all of them. 

This...is ugly.

I...just hope, I can keep myself in check, today.

These events, are so very Important.

<3 <3 <3 

{The good news, the 'Public'... 'Loved Ones'...I'm gonna see today, 

would Love me...if my head completely spun off of my neck. 

May God Bless 'em. 

<3 <3 <3 }

Love...to You,

Barb C.