At... Rest.

At Rest....

I've collected these 'At Rest'...plaques, for years.

Not, because...of the Mourning side, of them...

but...

The Thought...of 'Rest'.

What a Coveted Oasis...that's always seemed to be.

'Rest'.

<3

Yesterday, for the First Time...since, I can't remember...when, I Found it.

I...slept, the entire night, and day.

Only...found my feet, long enough to take care of Peanut...when she needed me, then...

back, to John's old...recliner, and 'Rest'.

Sleep.

I'm still coughing stuff up, but...I feel my lungs, are clearing, and....I can breathe, without laboring so, and puffing non stop...on inhalers.

<3

I, haven't went outside, in two days.

The house...is full of dust, I'll try to clean...that up, today.

I don't know, what The IDOT is doing, out there. 

I, can't even look at it.

Visited with our wonderful...Insurance Agent, Lisa... this morning, and...told her, I'm...

Overwhelmed, as I'm sure...she is, as well.

I'm gonna need some direction, to get through these 'claims'.

I can see what's obvious, but...I don't trust myself, to be able to see....any structural damages.

Frankly....I'm so weary, I don't trust myself, to make Any...important decisions...today.

I, remember...the last time, I felt this way.

Mom, was dying...in intensive care, and...John, was a few floors, above her, at The Hospital, recovering from brain surgery.

I, remember....sitting down, at the Hospital, with my Beloved...Dr. Cearlock, 

{who was also...Treating Mom, and John... <3 }

and...saying...

"You...are going to have to Help Me, with This. I, Need You...to Help Me....Carry Mom, and John.

I Trust You, to make some of the Decisions, for Mom...like You Know, I..would."

{That meant Fighting, for Her Life, for as Long...as She Wanted to Live.

I'd fought, and fired...many Dr.'s, over many years... who thought Mom had 'Run her Race'. 

That...wasn't for Them...to decide, or....me. That, was Mom's decision. Always.}

Dr. Cearlock, has known me, for 30, plus...years.

What a Gift, he has been, in my life. 

{He took Mom, and John...on, when he wasn't taking any patients...at my request.

 Oh My...What a Blessing, He was, to Us All. <3 <3 <3

He... gave me some 'Rest'....when I needed it, the most. <3  }

He's one...of those 'Angels'...in my life, that...have carried me, when....I couldn't find my feet, anymore.

<3 <3 <3 

 

The little flower, above...was quite a Gift, the other morning.

Somehow...within the dead grass, dust... and rock, this little Flower, smiled at me, as I was making my way to Jethro.

<3

A 'Wink'...from God.

<3

His Promise...

 { 2 Corinthians  1:8-9 }

Oh...my.

Those...were the days.

There was Pasture... and Trees.

Now...

total...carnage.

Above... is 'Before', down the rabbit hole.

It was like a 'Secret Garden'....before Fairfax, and the IDOT, butchered it, for their wrongful...Trail, that...nobody, should..ever, ever...walk, or ride on...beside, Highway 151, in Fairfax.

Heartbreaking.

on...every level.

A Dear..Friend, called me, early....yesterday morning.

Cheryl.

<3

She's coming from Tennessee, in a couple of weeks, to visit her Family, in Cedar Rapids.

Cheryl said... "I'm gonna come see you. : ) Just tell me what I can do, to help you...and, I will."

<3 <3 <3 

I, can't tell anyone, what I need.

I, don't know.

I..sit here...Frozen, in this Carnage, and...don't know, which way...to turn, anymore.

I, need them, to tell me...what to do.

At least...I can Breathe....today.

I don't know...if it's the steroids, {that I Can't Stand...} or, the IDOT isn't Dumping Poison, across the road, anymore.

I, don't want to even look out the door.

: ( 

 

Took the above picture, several days ago.

This...is where the IDOT dug, to find our floor drain, weeks, and weeks ago.

Then...left it.

I told Newman, from District 6, if this...isn't addressed, our basement, will...flood again.

When I look at this picture, and...see...Everything, Everything....Fairfax, and The IDOT, has So Wrongfully Taken, and Butchered.

well...

you have to understand...why, I can't bear...to walk outside.

It Takes My Breathe Away...in Every Way.

Above...

Fairfax's...and The IDOT's...Trail.

What used to be our...Land.

They Took It...

Solely...for Fairfax's Trail.

That....wasn't supposed to be.

According to Our Recorded Settlement Agreement.

yet...

They did it, anyway.

You can see, the normal, original...Bridge, behind John...and, Nicky.

<3

That's the Monster Bridge, the IDOT has built, to Accommodate Fairfax's Trail, Under, and On...the Bridge.

Wrongfully.

Breaching...our Agreement.

{According to their Own...Engineer. In writing.}

I, haven't mentioned this, to Josey Wales, yet...

but...

The IDOT, also...Condemned us, 25 years ago.

They, at that time...{which, I'm not sure they should've for 4 foot of shoulder, at that time...} took enough land, for Future {Now} Highway Maintenance and Road Improvement.

That, doesn't/didn't Include Accommodations, for a Walking/Bike Trail, either.

Seems to me, the IDOT...is Overreaching their Boundaries, on Many....Levels.

Has been, for a Long...Long....Time.

but...that's for him, to figure out.

Sadly, I'm leaning on him...as hard, as I did, Dr. Cearlock, these days.

: ( : ( : ( 

If...The IDOT, and... Fairfax, would've only...told the truth, from the beginning, 4 years ago.

oh my.

If...the IDOT, wouldn't have breached...their Agreement.

So...Much, would be So...Different, now, and...in the Future, for so many.

: ( : ( : ( 

I, sat here...this morning, and wept.

I, couldn't stop...the tears.

then...

 heard a little knock, on the door.

I, quickly..brought as much composure...to my face, as I could....

and...opened the door.

: ) 

Grandchildren...

Willow, and...Meadow, bringing Mountains of Tomatoes, they had picked for me...

in their little dresses.

<3 <3 <3 

Priceless.

If...only, we could find 'The Answers'...in Nursery Rhymes. 

<3

{Guess, we could...if, we didn't live in the 'Twilight Zone'. 

where...

'Money, and Power'...are Kings.

where...

The Truth, and Promises, don't matter. }

If you ever wonder...why, I fight...so hard, for what's right.

Those...little Girl's...are a couple Reasons.

<3 <3 <3 

When the IDOT, and...Fairfax, Crap...all over me, 

Wrongfully...

They...Crap, on Them....along with all of Those...I Love, too.

That, 

Isn't  Acceptable, in Children's Nursery Rhymes, or...

 Down the Rabbit Hole.

Period.

Love, to Ya...

Barb C.