The Blues...

I'd been meaning to sit down...and write a long post...

but...

oh dear, 'The Blues'...have set in.

: (

A Blizzard, that our Son...Justin, got caught up...in, Gratefully...he made 'er  Home, safe...

but...I was pacing the floor, for a couple of hours.

He said...he'd never been in anything...worse.

That speaks volumes...coming from him.

Then...this frigid cold...has settled in. 20 below zero...this morning.

Doesn't sound like it's going to let up...for a week.

I, worry so...about the Critters, outside.

: (

Of...course..it's February.

Such...a difficult month.

Lost Dad...on February 13th., 1987.

Mom's Birthday...was February 21st.

Heart of Country...for many years...kept my mind Busy...Busy, over Valentine's Week.

The visibility...was zero...during the Blizzard.

Many Prayers...went Up, for All who Travelled.

John's...old Oak.

<3

It seemed Strong...as Ever...during the Storm.

<3

The Blues...really hit home, when I wound the Clocks...for the first time, since John left.

7 years...they've sat...quietly.

I promised John...they'd be silent...until he could wind them.

I, wrote about them...last week, then...deleted the post.

A Dear...fellow Clock Collector, urged me to wind them.

He knew John, too. <3 

At first...when I wound them...and got them running, it was so soothing, listening to them...

like...a gentle rain, on an old...tin roof.

<3

but...as the days have passed, I've struggled, deeply.

My mind...keeps going back...7 years, when John...last wound them.

He wasn't feeling well.

Thought he had an ear infection.

He was dizzy, had 'vertigo'... at times....while we were trying to get a Load...pulled together, for Heart of Country, in Nashville.

It was bitter cold, like now.

John...couldn't stand the cold.

He'd been frostbitten, when he was younger....so, 'cold'...wasn't his friend.

The Boys, helped...outside, and we got the Truck's loaded.

Stress, was insane.

Always was...getting ready for 'Heart'.

So...Much...riding on it.

I remember...trotting out, in the sub-zero temp, firing up...the Faithful...

 FUSO, that year.

<3

It never refused.

<3

Liz...followed with The Ford...that year. 2014.

Pal, Linda...rode Shotgun, with me.

She took so many pictures, that year.

I'm so glad...she did.

None of us knew...it would be the last...'Heart of Country'.

I remember...getting to Nashville, late, the night before set up, that year.

The next morning...we found our way...to our Booth, in the Convention Center.

I could always 'see' the Booth, done...when gazing at those white walls.

Daughter, Liz...Loved...Nashville.

<3

Took us hours, to get unloaded.

Had to wait...to be called onto the Docks.

Then...it was Run!!! Git 'er Done!!!

We had a designated storage area...behind our booth.

So...had to decide what goes where, as we were Flyin'.

oh my. 

Yes...at the end...of every day, every day... at Heart, like Steph...said, we all...

felt like a 'Bag of Bones'.

: )

These Guys, weren't our Porters, but...we got to know them all...over the years.

: )

They...always worried over us...Iowa Girls.

; )

Always...wanting to help us, any way...they could.

: )

They told us...many times, they'd never seen Women work as hard...as we did.

; ) 

'Storage'...behind our Heart...booth. 

We'd set up...at Heart...at least 30 times, over the years....

 never...until the last, was I ever...content, with the Booth.

Always thought...I, could've done...a little better.

2014, I felt....good, about the booth.

Such a Gift, since...that would be the last.

I was so...worried, about John...during that show.

He was dizzy, when I left, so....told Everyone, to keep track of him.

He Insisted...on going to his shop...: (

I, was So...afraid...he'd fall, in the sub-zero cold, and Freeze.

When the Show...opened, there was a Beautiful...Preview Party, always.

Martha Stewart, catered it, back in the day.

It...was a pretty prestigious Deal.

Normally...we'd all go out, after the Opening Night.

We'd had a great...opening. Everything...was clicking...along.

But...That show...I sent the Girl's...on.

Stayed back, in the room.

Sat down...at the desk, in our room, saw my reflection...in the mirror, and took a picture.

I...remember...having a horrible, sinking... feeling, of impending doom.

It...fell over me, like a veil.

I, didn't know...exactly, what was coming, but...I...knew, at that moment, our lives were about to change....forever.

Never...could I have imagined, what...would be coming.

 Thought about that moment...as I watched the Snow...fall, just before the Blizzard, early last week.

It...was Insanely...Beautiful.

The Snowflake's...were Huge, it looked like a Snow Globe.

<3

The thing...was, we were warned...a Blizzard would follow.

If...you didn't hear what the Weather Folk's...were warning, you'd never believe...what was treacherously barreling right behind such...beauty.

I, remember...sitting in that room, feeling that 'warning'....with nothing to base it on...

but, never the less...knew, it was coming.

Coming...Hard.

I didn't tell the Girls, or...anyone.

"Smile's Sell. Worry...Doesn't."

Within months...

lost Mom, March 20th.,  then...John, May 25th...2014.

John's 'vertigo'...was actually... brain cancer.

Shortly...after,...my Sister in Law, Shirley, then...both of my Brothers. Larry, and Sonny.

Then...Peg.

Then...Polly, Sweetie, Phil...

Sister...Joyce, and...Friend, Mary...last year.

Our...Land.

{wrongfully.

That...all started...in 2015}

Rabbit Hole...shuttered, will be under water, when the snow melts...if what they've so wrongfully broken...isn't made right.

oh my.

yeah...

sitting in that hotel room, I knew...a 'Blizzard'...was coming.

never...

imagined, 'this'.

Throw in...shingles...a tumble, or two...

flooding, three times, because of...you guessed it...

'IDOT Wrongfulness'.

oh yeah...

an Iowa Hurricane, oh my.

; )

{there's that 'covid'...thing, and our Capital...being overtaken. oh my. ; ) }

Guess...we all have every right...to be a little 'Blue', now... and then.

So many...over the last several years, have been battling 'Blizzards'.

I will say, there have been Many Blessings, too.

<3

Amazing Friends, and Family.

The Lord...has sent some Powerful Warriors.

I couldn't have survived without them.

Truly.

Yesterday...the above, popped up on FB.

John...sent it to me, when we were getting ready for Heart.

<3 <3 <3 

We didn't have one of those...'clingy' relationships.

Never held hands...in public.

I only kissed John, in 'public'...{in front of whomever...was at his shop...} when I was climbing in the Truck, leaving for a Show.

Saying...Good Bye.

<3

We were both...private people.

'Behind Closed Doors'...people.

<3 

We 'Understood'...each other.

Our Home...was our Sanctuary.

Private.

Rarely...did we ever have guests, in our Home.

John...did his visiting, in his shop...

me, in mine, or at Shows.

Home...

is a sacred place.

<3 <3 <3 

I suppose, some would think that's strange.

That's ok.

; )

John, and I...never worried about what others thought.

; )

Well...here's my long...post.

Love to Ya.

Prayers...for All.

Barb C. 

{Added the Kris Kristofferson tune, after...helping a Friend, out of a ditch, this afternoon.

<3

She was buried.

Deep.

but...she's out.

<3

{Chevy...and all.}

Loving John...was Easier...than, Anything...I'll ever do, again. 

<3 <3 <3 }