Restless

It's difficult to explain...

the type of 'Restless', I'm feeling these days.

Find myself...suiting up, for Battle, again.

: (

I, so...dislike friction, and confrontation.

Sadly, sometimes....it simply, can't be avoided.

The last four years...my life has been consumed, with friction..

and, confrontation.

: (

It was all....Literally dumped in my lap.

It's been difficult to function.

The Rabbit Hole, my business...has struggled, with my absence.

I'm not a Lawyer....or, an Engineer.

I'm The Mad...Hatter, and...I sure wish, I could find my way...back to the Insanity, 

of The Rabbit Hole.

Livin' in 'This'...'Twilight Zone', is no place...for me.

: (

I've had Friends tell me, they...never would've taken this 'Mess'...with the City of Fairfax, and the IDOT, on.

They've all watched, what it's done to me, and....worry, about my health.

: (

 Stress is a Killer, they say.

I, know...it's true.

but...

I couldn't live...with myself, if I walked away, without fighting for what's right.

 Dad...always told me, if I know in my heart, I've done my best...I should never have any regrets.

Regrets, are mighty tuff...to live with. 

There's So Much...'Wrong', that's happened with this Highway 151 Project, in front of our Home...

I'm.Dizzied by it.

: (

It's stolen...four years of my life, senselessly. 

It promises to do more damage, to many others...in the future, left as planned.

Common Sense, has been thrown out the window.

I, can't walk to the rabbit hole, anymore.

Haven't since last year.

It's been deserted...because, I...can't Stand, to see the Wrongful Butchering, of Everything John worked his life...away, for.

Can't look out the windows.

I'm Grateful...when I work away, from what used to be... 'Home'.

I'm Grateful...at night, when I can't see...out the windows.

I refer to 'Home'...as 'Hell', anymore.

It's not about the chaos, and road construction....

it's about the 'Purpose', of the road construction...next to our Home.

A Walking Trail....Bike Trail,

that nobody, should ever, ever...ever, set foot on.

: (

When the City refused to conduct an Independent Safety Study, concerning their Trail Plan,

{after they finally admitted, there was one..}

 even...if I, paid for it....

and...

Council, at Open Public Meetings, stated they wouldn't allow 'their' Children, or Grandchildren, to walk on Fairfax's Future Trail...next to Highway 151, and, it was The Parent's Responsibility..to keep their Children Off of it...

I, knew...there was more to this, than a 'Trail'.

{The IDOT, wouldn't..conduct a Safety Study, for Pedestrians...either.

I...Begged, them All. }

: (

Then, at the last minute, of our Condemnation...found an Amazing Lawyer, that took the Trail Plans, out....of the Highway project in front of our Home.

; )

Saved so many Trees, and Land...and, saved me, from watching someone, die....while riding their bike, or...walking, in front of our Home.

{One of the most Dangerous Stretches of Highway 151, in Linn County, Iowa...

 says the University of Northern Iowa's Safety Study, for Traffic, conducted...for, the IDOT.

I've Seen Enough Death, in front of our Home.}

However...the IDOT was Still...taking far more land, than what was necessary, according to the Engineer who designed this project, without Fairfax's Trail, and only for 'Highway Improvement'.

That..worried me.

So....I've been paying close attention.

: ( 

Against our Recorded Settlement Agreement, that states 'There Shall be No Trail accommodations on the Bridge adjoining our property, or on any of the land taken for this project...'

 The IDOT, is Building Fairfax's Trail, anyway, on the bridge...and, has made the massive bridge's elevation, much higher, to accommodate Fairfax's other Trail, under it.

: (

I've watched them, day...after day....build it.

: (

I've questioned it, over...and over, with the IDOT, and the Contractors...

They keep building, and simply...ignore my concerns.

They might as well be sticking needles...in my eyes.

so....

Yes,

I'm Suitin' Up...for Battle, one more time.

Pray....for me.

<3

I, just want to get back to the normal...stress, and...insanity.

I'd like to worry, about covid, and...spend time with my Family, and...Friends.

I'd like...to be able to work, and get tired..worn out, moving, and hauling...too much.

: )

I...just want to 'feel', again.

I...miss, my life.

What used...to be, my life, before Fairfax, thought they needed a Trail, next to 151, and..the IDOT, District 6 Office, went along with 'em.

As I'm writing, I'm thinking....of a quote, I'd read...long ago.

"When it is all finished...you will discover, it was never random."

The Lord, Shines...His Light, in the darkest of places.

When this all...unfolds, unravels...

somehow, 

I Know...it'll all, make perfect sense.

<3

Love...to Ya, 

Barb C.

{When this battle, is over, 

{I'd like to say 'Won', but...it's too late, for 'Winning'. 

Too much irreparable damage, on every single level. : ( }

I'll be writing a book about it all. 

Nobody, should ever have to go through what we have. 

Ever. }

<3 <3 <3 

I had an Alison Krauss Tune, picked out...for this post, and...I'll post it, but....with the Sad Passing, of Charlie Daniels, today...I'm posting one of His...Too. <3 

It, also..seemed Very Fittin'. : ) 

{I've never been a 'Pot Smoker'..

but, over the last several years, I've leaned, a little long, and... hard,

 on Tequila. ; )

I believe me, and Charlie...would've 'understood' one another...anyway. ; )

<3 <3 <3 

He...was an Amazing Artist.

 A Gift, to us all. <3 <3 <3 }