Where the Mind Leads....

I wrote a friend, today, I feel like I'm in a Cocoon... Totally out of the loop... Shut in...and...frankly...like it here...but, feel guilty, that I do...

The last several weeks...my mind has been taking me back... to places I haven't been, for... well...45 years... since I was around 2....Sad places...it's like climbing a ladder, that is constructed of a lifetime of memories... sad, sad memories...where do those thoughts come from? My age? Stress?...Holidays?....I don't know... but, they can surely bring a person down....
I try, and sound, normal, while conversing with people......but... when I do...I know I'm an octave off...{I can sense, the ones that really know me, know, I'm off....oh dear...} I'm second guessing everything I do...everything I say...analyzing every move...{ the cocoon is a much safer place...}
The Tree isn't done... the house is a mess...and...I'm staying wrapped up...in my Cocoon...
I'm going to dinner tonight, with Pal, Steph...We have planned this outing, since early fall...we made a pact... when our lives where whirling around us, like a Massive Tornado..... fending off 'derbis', as it was being flung right at our heads.... we couldn't wait, to have a night out, and unwind.... Sad thing...I don't want to go... {I've got a quarter, that says, she doesn't either...} but, we probably will....{ we're both pretty good, at 'rising to the occasion'...}
I have little shopping done... I don't know what to get anyone...Christmas...a week away.... I don't even have my cards out, yet... I have been getting some, and they make me smile... at least the ones I have opened... I like to read them, as I'm sending them out...then, put them on the Tree...the 'finished' Tree...
I need to get moving...
Hope Everyone has a Very... Productive Day...{including..me...}
Barb C.