Trust The Process.

 Oh my...

I think of this....often.

So many are struggling, and under Pressure...these days.

We just have to remember...at the end of the day...or, days....

{Months...Years. ; / }

It may not have been comfortable...or, easy, but...

altimately....it will have been worth it. 

Looking back, if one chooses....to see the Good, it'll shine bright.

It is...a 'choice'.

I've been struggling a Lot, with the Crushing...Pressure....and, Darkness, especially over the last 6 years.

The last 4, tho...I never dreamed, could Possibly be more Crushing, than the 2, prior.

 Losing John, in 2014, and dealing with that trauma...

has been...insanely difficult.

In 2014, 15, and 16...

Lost Mom, then...John, then... Sister in Law, Shirley, then...Larry, my Brother, was found dead..in his home, then...Sonny, my other Brother...died in a car accident, then...Polly, my Beloved Hound, and Best 4 Legged Friend, then...Peg, my Best....Friend, then...3, of 4...of John's Beloved Cats.

Then...

The City of Fairfax, along with the IDOT, took our land, wrongfully....for a walking trail, that they denied existed...for nearly 2 years, until..they couldn't.

The footwork, and time...consumed fighting their deceit...was, and...is, exhausting.

Then..a lawsuit, got it stopped.

but...

it didn't.

The IDOT Breached our agreement, and built Fairfax's trail...anyway.

I, watched them...day in, and day out...take, butcher....and destroy, everything John and I worked our lives away for.

Wrongfully.

The Rabbit Hole, is in Shambles.

Our Home...is in Shambles.

{Friends, who've actually seen what they've done here...tell me, our place...is unrecognizable.

It's True.

We've been butchered, and put in harm's way....all for a Trail, next to 151, and a poorly designed Stallman Drive, that adjoins the S.W. portion...of our land, by The Rabbit Hole.

It's all...been addressed, documented...over, and over...with the IDOT District 6 Engineers. }

Our Home....has flooded three times, this year, solely, because of this wrongfulness.

I haven't been able to wash clothes, in our home...for 6 months, in fear of more flood issues.

We've lost...so much, that can never, ever....be replaced.

Then...a Hurricane, hit.

{Forgot....there was a little something called 'Covid'...that also, reared it's ugly head, and...stopped any sort of business, for a long time. Still...is. }

I can't begin...to tell you, how difficult it is, some mornings...to get out of bed.

but...

when I look around, and...see So Many, who...are Also, May God Bless 'em...

Struggling, too...that somehow....also, find their feet, every morning...no matter how the Earth is Trembling, under them....are Inspirations.

<3

The sad thing...is, speaking for myself....when ya get Crushed so Hard, from every direction....for so long,

it's difficult to see....past my own mountains.

I've been trying so hard, to be Grateful..for Everything.

I've had so many Friends, who are also Struggling, offer to lend a Hand, Ear...Heart.

<3

I've got a Lawyer, that....is, well.... very 'Good'.

He reminds me of my Family Dr. {who's a Saint. <3 }

Our...Long Time, Insurance Agent...is very... 'Good'. 

Lord...what would I have done without her, through the basement flood, and storm.

There's an Agent, in Idaho...whom, I've never met....that's been such a Blessing, through this mess.

She's... been Incredible.

The Amish Man, who put our roof on, in April...

is beyond overwhelmed with work...after the Storm, but...today, reassured me, he'd take care of ours.

: )

I, told him...to take care of himself.

Our roof is patched, and waiting...for him, and his Crew. 

I, know...he'll get to it, as soon as he can.

: )

May God Bless...Anyone, Everyone...who can Ride This Crazy Train...with me.

; )

I feel so guilty, at times...that I've had to lean on them...so hard.

They All have Mountains.

There's so many Blessings.

Countless...Blessings.

It's a lot easier...to see the difficulties, sometimes, than it is to see the Blessings.

Even...through these troubled times, as I've written...before, I do...see how important the difficulties are.

It's not much fun...while being crushed, but...that Wine, I...know, will be all the sweeter, in the end.

No matter what.

Learning, and growing....is a huge part of this Journey.

Being pruned, cut back....is a part of  the process of 'Life'.

It can be mighty painful, but...necessary, to be the best...we can be.

Learning to embrace these 'cuttings', with 'Grace', and 'Gratitude'.... is something, I struggle with.

Grief, has had me in it's grips...for a long time.

There's nothing to do about it, but...be Thankful...for those who shared my life, and that I had the opportunity, to Love Them...and, be Loved, by Them.

They leave a gaping...hole, in my heart.

I, do believe....They are still near me, and...we'll all be together again...someday.

I'll be missing them, until that day.

The other...wrongfulness...that has left my soul twisting, is something...I know....I can never fix.

Never...make 'right'. 

Neither...can those, who've inflicted it.

Even, if....Everything, could be turned around, there's been so much...irreparable damage, well...there's nothing on this planet...that could ever...make these 'Wrongs'...'right', again.

It's in God's Hands.

It...has to be.

Somehow...I know, it'll all work out.

Whatever it may be.

I'll continue to fight, with the strength God has Blessed me with.

and...try, to be more....Grateful, for things...situations, and People, I can not....understand.

It's not for me to question....these, 'prunings'.

: )

Every 'Cut'..is here, for a reason.

When we brought the big Fountain...to the rabbit hole, yesterday....

{Thanks, So Much...to Son in Law, Adam, his Dad... Mitch...and Little Jack. <3 }

I, thought...how Beautiful....it would be, to the rabbit hole.

Sadly, after we placed it, my heart....just sank.

The Fountain...was So Beautiful, sitting where I'd bought it, 

but...

looked so....Broken, and forlorn...next to the IDOT Battered...Butchered...rabbit hole.

Instead of the Beautiful Fountain......

Lifting the Rabbit Hole, Up,

The butchered surroundings, of the rabbit hole, brought the Beautiful...Fountain,

 down to the rabbit hole's...ugly, IDOT's butchered level.

As I turned away, I thought....I, should just sell the Fountain.

It deserves...Better, than This.

I'm remembering, today....I should be Grateful, The Lord....has placed that Beautiful...Beautiful Fountain, in my hands.

<3 <3 <3  

He's Placed So Much...Beauty, in my hands.

{People... Critters,...Love...Health. This, very...Day. <3 }

It's my job...to use the Blessings, and Gifts, He...has given me, to create.

I, just....have to focus on The Blessings, and let The Lord...focus on the rest.

It's sometimes very difficult, my Friends...when it's in your face.

Please, Pray...for me, and Everyone....

as I do...for You...

and All, who are Struggling, Searching, and Suffering.

<3 <3 <3 

Love, to You.

Barb C.