Friday, December 17, 2010

Where the Mind Leads....

I wrote a friend, today, I feel like I'm in a Cocoon... Totally out of the loop... Shut in...and...frankly...like it here...but, feel guilty, that I do...
The last several weeks...my mind has been taking me back... to places I haven't been, for... well...45 years... since I was around 2....Sad places...it's like climbing a ladder, that is constructed of a lifetime of memories... sad, sad memories...where do those thoughts come from? My age? Stress?...Holidays?....I don't know... but, they can surely bring a person down....
I try, and sound, normal, while conversing with people......but... when I do...I know I'm an octave off...{I can sense, the ones that really know me, know, I'm off....oh dear...} I'm second guessing everything I do...everything I say...analyzing every move...{ the cocoon is a much safer place...}
The Tree isn't done... the house is a mess...and...I'm staying wrapped up...in my Cocoon...
I'm going to dinner tonight, with Pal, Steph...We have planned this outing, since early fall...we made a pact... when our lives where whirling around us, like a Massive Tornado..... fending off 'derbis', as it was being flung right at our heads.... we couldn't wait, to have a night out, and unwind.... Sad thing...I don't want to go... {I've got a quarter, that says, she doesn't either...} but, we probably will....{ we're both pretty good, at 'rising to the occasion'...}
I have little shopping done... I don't know what to get anyone...Christmas...a week away.... I don't even have my cards out, yet... I have been getting some, and they make me smile... at least the ones I have opened... I like to read them, as I'm sending them out...then, put them on the Tree...the 'finished' Tree...
I need to get moving...
Hope Everyone has a Very... Productive Day...{including..me...}
Barb C.

4 comments:

Deppen homestead 1862 said...

come on girl !
Cheer up! Look through the cob webs & see the good memories, don't dwell on the bad!
Good Heavens we all have them, push them away!
Find happy times!We all have good memories!
See some sunlight!
It's the season to be Merry, don't just sit there, come on!
Write the Christmas cards & make your friends smile, it will help you smile!
Come visit my blog, see my kitties! They are adorable!
SMILE & CHEER UP!
Teresa

simplyiowa said...

Hey Teresa...
I don't normally dwell on bad.... I ponder why people are the way they are, sometimes...but...this has nothing to do with anyone...and, I have always felt so blessed... So...don't know why, the ladder seems to be constructed of saddness...I have much, to be thankful for...Today, being one of those things...
Thank You...for your words of incouragement...
My Love to You...
Barb C.

summersundays-jw said...

I'll bet you'll feel better if you go with your friend -- she probably needs it too. And if you don't get cards out, don't worry about it. By Jan. 5 no one will remember who did or didn't send cards. Then go to Target & do all your shopping in one visit. It's so easy to tell someone how to get out of depression but we all have to figure it out ourselves & you will. You're in my thoughts. Jan

simplyiowa said...

Thanks, Jan...
I'll go...and... maybe, I feel this way,...so I might have a better understanding, of how other people feel...Unless you have climbed this ladder...it's truly hard to imagine...
Thanks for the kind words...
My Love to You...
Barb C.