Did You Ever Have a Dream....

Just a quick post, as I'm headed for the shower... Another long road ahead... another 300 miles....

Woke up, this morning, with tears running down my face...and Polly nudging me, to wake up... I had been dreaming, of Gold Rush... On set up, our Show neighbor, Curt said to me, this would be his last show... His legs have been bothering him, and the show was just too much... Curt's wife and sons did the booth, and he said he wouldn't be back at tear down... I begged him to come back, so we could have a few minutes... God only know when we will see each other again... He didn't come back...

My Dream...

I was tearing down, at Gold Rush... Everything was spinning around me... Like I was in the center of a Tornado... all of the other dealers, busy, busy....Wanda was there, doing last minute Gathering.... Barb H. purchasing a massive harvest table, from Tom R. and he was elated......Colleen smiling, and loading, even my niece, Ellen, who I haven't seen for years, was packing, at the show... They all seemed to be spinning around me....in slow motion...

I was standing perfectly still... at an alter.... Curt was sitting at it, higher than me.... there was another man, sitting at the alter, with Curt... Tho... I don't know who he was... but, in my dream, I seemed to know him, as well as Curt... I was facing the men... with my hands stretched out, on the alter, and was holding their hands...listening to them... gently, asking...almost begging them to stay....Everyone else, kept on their merry way... my booth...still full... and a mess... I just couldn't think about leaving...Finally I did... and turned to my booth, and saw Mark, smiling at me... his booth was all packed, and loaded...yet, for some reason, I knew, he would stay... and help me load...

Then.. my dream went back, to when I was 16 years old...and to a situation, that really happened...

I was driving the 61 Ford Flatbed... headed for the scrapyard... Dad and I had just put a heavy load of iron on...and I was flyin'...it was a beautiful Saturday morning... but I had to be on the scales before 11:00... I was on gravel, dust was rolling behind me... then, the old Ford died... right in front of a nice Farmstead.... I cranked on it, for a minute... but knew the old battery wouldn't take much more... so...I left 'er sitting, and walked up to the door of the Farmhouse... I knocked, and a nice lady, all dressed up, answered... I asked if I could please use her phone... I needed to call for help... My old Truck had quit... She looked me up and down...{ I was a mess... I'd just loaded a truck, and was pretty dirty... } she let me just inside the door... and asked me to wait there...she'd bring the phone to me... There were many people there... I could see them, all dressed up, and beginning to gather around a table, covered in a beautiful Damask table cover.... Then my eyes met, with a girl, about my age, sitting at the table... she looked at me, almost, looking through me... then down, at her plate.... It was my niece... Ellen... She never looked at me, again...she just sat there, staring at her empty plate... The lady was dragging the phone to me, getting the 30 foot cord stuck, on everything... I made my call, thanked her, apologised, for the intrusion then walked back to the old Ford...

I had no idea, this was my nieces fiance's parent's home... they are 7th Day Adventists...and had apparently just got home from Church... My niece was obviously ashamed of me... and the next day, tried to make up for it... ah... to no avail... She had all kinds of excuses.. blurting them out... one by one... I just stood there... I looked at her... and said..."I'm sorry for you....if the shoe would have been on the other foot, you would have been asked to join me... I would have found help for you...no matter...that's the way our family is"... She cried, and said how sorry she was... and tried to convince me, she didn't know who I was...blah...blah... blah... All I could say was... I'm so sorry... and, it was my belief, she had a Character Flaw... and, there wasn't any changing that... how sad...

I don't know what all of this means... All I know.... I have another 300 miles to go, today... I'm going to miss Curt... and, sometimes... blood, really isn't thicker than water...

Have a Beautiful Saturday...

Barb C.

{ Ellen sends a Christmas form letter, every year, addressed to my Mother, in care of me...{ Mom is blind, so I have to read it to her...} She goes on and on, about her wonderful, and perfect life... Her husband is perfect... her children are perfect...My life was pretty tuff, a few Christmas's ago...I sent Ellen a card, and asked her to send the letters to my Brother... Her Dad... Who actually cares about how wonderful her life is...Let him read them to Mom... {Mom would love to see more of him...} She still keeps sending them... Oh my...}