letter... to myself.

Oh..... my.

Had a Blast from The Past...

this...Morning.

My Niece, Mary Beth...tagged me in a photo... on fb.

When I saw it.... I nearly fell off my stool.

This is the first time.... I've seen this. 

oh my.

: )

This is... a picture of two of my Nieces.... Beth, far left....

Susan.... in the middle....

and me.

holding their Hound. <3 

I have only... a few images...from when I was young. 

This was taken in Millersburg, Iowa... at Sonny and Shirley's.
{my Oldest Brother and Sister in Law... on Dad's side. }

I spent... some of my Favorite 'moments' there. 

: )

There could have been a Million... pictures... like this one.

THIS... was my 'Childhood'.

: )

Friends... 

4 legged ones... along... with the ones... with only... two. : ) 

I think... what I Loved Most... about visiting Sonny and Shirley... and their Kids...

was... I got to be a 'Kid'... too. : )

My early 'Life'... wasn't like... most Children's.
: )

I see that now... : )

I remember.... my Siblings... arguing with my Dad.... when they thought I couldn't hear...
{Siblings...from Both of my Parents... }.

{I was so Angry... with them... for speaking to him...the way they did... 

 especially...doing so... 

somehow... on my behalf. 

oh my... }

I never 'fit' in... with Mom's and Dad's... other Kids. 

{I was an 'only' child... between my Parents. They were divorced... and each had a Son and Two Daughters, from their prior marriages... then, remarried each other...and... had me. 

Mom was 43 and Dad was 50. }

All but one, of my Siblings...{Sister, Merry Jo...Mom's second to her youngest Daughter. }

 were old enough...to be my parents.

{I remember.... growing up... referring to my Siblings... as " My Brothers and Sisters...or....

My Dad's....Kids... or my Moms... Kids...

 I never thought of them.... as 1/2 Brothers and Sisters...  

I remember... the first time... one of them....introduced me...as.... their ' Half Sister'....

I was about.... 10, the age...I was in the above photo.. ...

I was crushed. }

Looking at the above... image.... I broke down...and sobbed... this morning.

Thinking... if... I were to write a 'Letter'.... to that little girl... what it might say.

oh my. 

Looking back, I... understand... now, why my Siblings... were so ruff on Dad.

They were concerned.... that I never would have a 'Childhood'... : )

well... : ) they were right.

I never did. 

I had a lot... to worry about.... and... some pretty big loads....to carry,  when I was young....I suppose.

I, don't ever...remember... not... being 'old'... 'grown up'. : ) 

I never understood... 'Children'.... 

{I began Babysitting other peoples Kids... on weekends... when I was 9. 

The Kids I was watching.... were older than me. : ) {11, 12...13. } 

 hahahaha... oh my. 

Dad taught me how to drive... when I was 7. 

I was driving... all over the Country... when I was 12.

Drove Semi... all over the South... the Summer I turned 16... and actually had a 'License'...

{Not a Chauffeur's License.... just a Driver's License. : ) }

Moved out...on my 'own'... when I was 15.

Worked... and went to school.

{Lord... Knows....I Hated School. .

It Tied Me Down!!!

and... didn't like being around... all of those 'Kids'.... 

that were only concerned with Boys... and Clothes. }

oh my. 

I was, and am...still... the 'Black Sheep'.... : )

I think.... like my Dad, I'll always... be a 'Kid'... in some ways... and an 'Old Soul'... in others.

Nothing... in between. : )

{The 'Makings'... of a 'Mad Hatter' }

If I were writing... a letter... to the little girl... above....

the main thing... I would say....

is a quote... from Mae West.

"I never said... it would be easy.

: )

I just said, It would be Worth It".... 

: )

For the record... I wouldn't change a Thing... about the way... my Folks....  raised me.

I know... They Did... The Very Best... They Could. 

and.... 

They Loved Me... with All...of Their Hearts. <3 <3 <3
{All... of Their... Children. <3 : ) }

: )

That's all... any of us... should expect... from our Folks.

<3 <3 <3  

I'm Blessed, that I learned... how to 'Survive'... 

and was taught... how to Love... People... Critters.... and 'Life'

{Compassion.}

and how to Stand Up..for what's right. 

{or 'wrong'...

{in some's opinion... : )  }

if it's the 'right' thing to do... : )  }

Love, to ya....

Barb C.

{I'd add  'p.s.'... to that little girl's....'letter'....

"Hold On Tight...little girl... : ) 

You're in for a Wild... Ride. : )

but... know...

  You are.... Blessed....: )

 When you Fall.... 

look for those Angels... : )

You'll Never... Walk... alone.
so....
Dance! Dance! Dance! "}

{and... dedicate... the above song... to that... little girl....
I dedicate it... to Every...Little Boy...and Girl.... no matter..... how 'young' or...'old'. <3 }


{There's a part of me... that would like to Grab... that little girl.... and run away... with her. Protect her.... from Everything... Everything... I know...is coming.
 {Like my Siblings.... must have wanted... or felt... would have been... best. }
: )
but...
 thankfully... : ) no one... ever did.
I... wouldn't be... near as strong... today, or... have the 'common sense'....
I rely... so heavily... on, had things been... 'different'. : )
yes...
I... am... Blessed. : ) }