She is totally blind...can't stand...or transfer, without at least 2 people...and a gate belt.... {they believed me, finally...at the Hospital....oh my...it was...a long day...} I don't write about my activities....other than antiquing...much.... but...I do live another...several lives... one...is being my Mother's Guardian....I work hard at it...but...feel...I fail, at being a good daughter....some times...but...this is...the Best I can do...I'm sure there are others...who do...much better than I....Bless their Hearts...
I will say...we Both...had a very Long day... Mom's surgery went without a hitch...a Great Surgeon...is a Plus!!! We started at the Nursing Home...at 11... the Special 'K' Bus...picked us up...at 11:15... {they are Great....I can't transfer Mom, into a car, from her wheelchair...anymore...so a Handicap Bus...is all we can do....} It's soooo hard on Mom, tho...I keep chatting...and reassuring her.... {think about taking a Loud...Roller Coaster Ride...Blind folded....and being 91 years old.......oh my...traumatic...for her...and me....}Stress, can bring on Grand Mall Seizers...{she has a brain tumor....that triggers Grand Mall Seizers....she has beaten my arm, bloody... into the pavement...while having one...as I cradled her head...from hitting the concrete...they are horrible...and...they have happened while grocery shopping...or just walking, into her house...they are a Horrible thing...} It took many hours...from start, to finish...but...she is in no pain... and....I brought her, her favorite supper...Fried Chicken...and Mashed Potatoes..with Beef Gravy...
I feed Mom....she can't eat by herself, anymore... without her sight...and her left side...for some reason...just doesn't want to work, anymore...{it's the Meningioma...{brain tumor} I'm pretty sure...she says it's from a stroke... tho...there is no evidence of a stroke...}Think...that is the hardest part...Mom has dementia... I just...realized...how long...I would not...admit that.... I simply could not...let anyone think...Mom...didn't have her faculties....{I still...have a very hard time with that....something...about respect...you simply do not question, your elders...at any cost... } {that...will be in the book..someday... 'The Care Giver..."} most...don't know me...that way...that..is another life... oh my... when I say... "It's not the Years...it's the Miles"...trust me...
I visited with the staff, at the Nursing Home, and Mom's Doctor...before I left, tonight.... Think...everything..is on track... I am concerned about infection... Mom's 91 year old skin...wouldn't let the Surgeon close up, like he wanted to... so... it has to be watched closely... biopsy results...in...in 36 to 48 hours....
Visited with Peg...this eve...she was eating a steak...Bless her Heart.... I was looking up on line, what she should be eating....as we visited...and SHE YELLED AT ME!!! Told me to quit worrying...they had all sorts of directions...on the food to eat...during chemo... I said...well...it appears..it was what I had said...anyway... High Fat... High Protein!!! The Biggest Bang...for the smallest amount! { I Loved hearing her yell at me....Spunk!}
Then...visited with a friend, going through 'teenage daughter' issues...oh my...been there...{was one...{teenage daughter}..that is...and a Hand Full...I will Admit!} {what am I saying...I still am...a hand full...} oh my...All I can say...is ...Life is short...
Mom was singing...in the Hospital... "Wooden Heart"... ":Later than you Think"..."One Day at a Time"... and several other Oldies... the nurses got a Chuckle...I thought about asking her to quiet down... but...then thought...I don't think so.... she wasn't that loud......she is 91...and had just been through...so much...if it bothered anyone...they could ask... I wasn't about to....{plus...she sings in perfect key....amazing...}
Yep...it was a Long Day...{I even ran into my Dad's Oldest Daughter....at the Surgery Center, at the Hospital... {I should have played the lottery...I never see her... who would have thought!} Strange...she said, she's 75....I about fell over...she looks like she's in her 50's... good genes...I guess... {she doesn't have those 'miles' tho...oh dear...}
Oh Well...I have had enough...for today...I drove Old Sally...and we Listened to Chesney..."Alive and Well"... and, for today...that's good enough...for me...
 |
| This is Mom, Liz, and Miss Scarlett...at Mom's Sister, Helen's Funeral...in July...This was a Hard Day...for Mom.... |
Love..to You...
Barb C.
{Yep...if this seems a little unlike me...I have been enjoying Spiked Egg Nog...and Loving it! Happy Holidays!}{Mom got Percocet....!}{It's been a Long..Day...} : )
{Mom kept Thanking me...for being there... I said..."No...Thank You...For being...my Mama"....} {for the record...my Mama...made all of my clothes...she was .... is,...amazing....}
6 comments:
I understand this post all too well. Dad will be 96 next month.
Best wishes for you and your mother.
the roller coasters at amusement parks must seem like a walk in the park to you my dear ; )
I'm sure you were worn out - so glad to hear all is well on all fronts for one more day : )
I'll give you a call after work today - Have a great day!!!
Love ya
Yes...Sue...I thought you would understand...and many others...
Mom has been in a nursing home, for many years...there came a time, when I couldn't help her...anymore...and looking back...I know I enabeled her...longer, than was probably safe, for her...but...I couldn't let go.... and was VERY ANGRY...with my siblings...for not helping me more...with her care...and...leaving the entire choice...to me...if Mom should go to a nursing home...they would have no part in that...or her care.... I felt like Mom was on my shoulders...I was holding her up... til, finally...I broke... my kness gave out...and I fell...{I was working...had two children, at home...and was at Mom's morning and eve, to do her pills...laundry...shower..shopping..whatever...until she became so ill, couldn't get out of bed....then I stayed with her...Merry came, short term, to help... but she couldn't stay...}
I heard my Dad's voice, as I hit the ground...rock bottom..."did you do the best you could?"... "Yes"...I said..."but it isn't good enough..." He said...like he had..so many times, while I was growing up..." If...you know in your heart...you did your best...that's all you can do...and there will be no regrets..."
Well...I'll never forget...standing outside, Mom's House...and saying to my siblings...just that... I realized...what they were doing...or not...was the best, they could do...and...when you point fingers...three point back...I let them go... {not saying...I don't get a little grumpy...from time to time...and shake my head...} but...there are those, who would do the same, with me...I don't go see mom, as often, as I should...but when she needs me...I'm There...and I'll move Mountains..for her...as I would do...for Everyone...I Love...
So, Sue... Hang in there...and all you can do, is your best...and your Heart Knows That...
Love, to You...
Barb C.
Hey Amy Girl....
Today...I feel like I was hit by a Freightliner...I have much...to get done...the house is like the Munsters...Thanksgiving...reset the shop...a few holes...to be filled...and piles...around...
Mom is doing good this morn...and hasn't needed any pain meds...today....Peg, is on her way to C.R., and will be staying with Sarah, until her next treatment...to save on lodging expences...she says she feels pretty tired, today... oh my...I feel like I'm coming down with something...hoping..it's allergies...I want to see Peg...but...not if I'm SICK!!!! GRRRR!!!!think I'mm going to go soak...in a Hot Bubble Bath...
Love to Ya...Amy...
what a wonderful daughter you are -- and how lucky she is to have you.
It puts everything in perspective doesn't it?
and thank you for the music -- let there be peace.........and there was as I read and listened. I needed that --thank you
Ahhh....yes...'Peace'.... we all need that... sometimes the road to 'Peace'...can be a bumpy one, indeed....
I, am the Best Daughter...I can be.... and... maybe, to others..it isn't very good...and some...good...
That's all any of us can do...
Love, to You...and....'Peace'...to you...
Barb C.
Post a Comment