The Cross

The Suffering...of Children.

This... is my Beautiful... Rosary...
I wear it around my neck... and hope... it doesn't offend... anyone.
It brings... Peace... to my heart.

I knew.... in my heart....

when John's 'Celebration'... was over... it was going to be tuff....

It... has been....

and...the Kids.

oh my.

I, have lost my Soul Mate... Best Friend, Husband and Father, to the Kids.

John, was always here... looking after them, when I couldn't be....

They, too... are so very... very lost.

So much, came 'Home' to roost... last night.

This is...all so very Much... for us....

Please... keep... the Kids in your Prayers....

Justin... is struggling... so.

They all are...

but, John and Justin... had such a 'Special'... bond....

Just like, my Dad and I had.

I, can't reach him...anymore...than my Mom... could reach me.... when Dad went Home....

Last Christmas... money was so....tight.... 

{Mom had been in, and out of the Hospital.... bills were slamming us.... it was ugly.... monetarily...}

We were going to buy...for the Grandchildren... and give all of the Kids... a little money....

Hadn't done any shopping for anyone...except the Grand kids....

yet.... I was Driven... at the last minute...{the 23rd} to find the most

 Perfect Cross....

for Justin... to wear.

I found one... late... on the 23rd....

I had called my friend, Pattie.... who has many wonderful pieces, she had none....

We kept talking.... as I was racing through town.....

I went to the Christian Book Store... they had nothing... that was exactly what I had in my heart...

 for Justin....

I finally.... was ready to give up... {yet... what was 'Driving me'.... wouldn't allow it.}

I stumbled across a Pawn Shop.....

Went inside.... and found... the most Perfect.. White Gold... Cross....

and heavy chain....

It took... nearly every penny I had.... 

but.... I knew... Justin... HAD to have it....

I knew...somehow... Justin... was going to have to lean on that Cross.... 

I was told....  by the Constant Push.... Justin... was going to have to Lean... on it.

{long before we had a thought... of what was coming our way.... God knew. }

I explained... to the other Kids...and John... where I had spent our Christmas money.... and said... it was the Hand...of God... that was pushing me.... I...had no choice...

{ we Always... keep things 'fair'...with the Kids....in every way...The Kids...all...understood.... totally. }

I gave them each... Rosaries... vintage Rosaries.... that I had here, in the house.... and directed them....to keep them very close.... {another Push.... from The Lord.......}

I was so... Driven.... and Insistent... they All.... have Crosses.... to Lean on...

We don't belong to an Organized Religion....

and...I have never pushed the Kids.... I, simply..... Believe... God, will come to you... in a very personal way... if... you ask him to... no matter where you Worship.... we are all...His Children.

Justin and I, had a heartfelt... visit.... Christmas Day.... as we were in route to pull a friend from the ditch....

I shared the story.... of his Cross.... with him.....

He hasn't taken it off..since....

He... is so broken..... now...

Lost... and Angry... 

I tried... to talk with him... last night....

oh my... it was a late night...

He still... wears the Cross.... I Pray... he Leans on It......

 Looks Up....and Opens his Big...Soft...Broken...Heart....

to the One... Who Will... Carry him.....

Please... Pray for our Children.....

and...All... of The Children...who suffer...

today.

Love to you....

Barb C.