'Winks'

Another Beautiful Day... in Iowa.

<3

70 degrees.

; )

It reminds me so... of the year Dad passed away.

It was Unbelievably warm, that mid February, 1987.

That's why Dad.... Refused to stay at Home, with Mom.

He... wanted to be with his 'Machinery'.

 {Old Trucks, and Tractors}

<3

{Dad... despised 'in town' living.}

Dad was staying on the Land... he'd rented for his 

'Fleet'.

<3

Dad had an old School Bus, that had been converted into a Camper,

I... called it 'Dad's Shed'.

: )

It had a wood burning stove, inside.

It was Very... Cool.

Dad... Loved It.

<3

He Loved... being there.

; )

When Dad chose to stay there... I'd take him his lunch, every day.

; )

The land... was situated in a Valley, down a long, steep... lane.

That February... it was so warm, the lane was greasy... mud.

I... wouldn't walk down the hill, when it was like that.

I was 'expecting' Liz... 

Son, Justin... was just a Toddler.

I'd honk the horn... at the top of the hill, and Dad would come to meet us.

; )

We had a Ford Conversion Van, at the time... 

We'd sit inside the Van... and visit, while Dad... ate his Lunch.

On that February 12th, Mom... was riding with.

<3

I'd baked a Heart shaped Cake, for Dad... early that morning, to take with his lunch.

'Valentine's Day'....

'Cake'.

<3

We didn't cut into the Cake, at lunch.

'No Room'.

: )

The last time I saw Dad... alive, he was carrying that Cake... down the lane.

<3

I'll never forget, watching Dad walk away from us that day.

Just as Dad got to the top of the lane, to begin heading down... into the Valley, he stopped, turned around,

'paused'...

looking at us.

I said to Mom,

 "hmmmm? What's up with this?? "

{that was 'different' for Dad.}

Dad... looked like he'd forgotten something.

I'd no more than said that, to Mom...

 Dad... turned around, and continued down the lane.

Near midnight, on February 12, 1987....

a fire broke out, in 'Dad's Shed'.

The fire... alerted neighbors, who called it in.

Dad... worked so hard attempting to put the fire out, he collapsed.

When I received 'The Call', at around 7 a.m., on the 13th, from our Family Dr., informing me of what had transpired... in the night...

oh my.

My mind was Racing.

Why... hadn't I been called sooner.

?

I was Number One, on The Call List.

Our Family Dr. assured me, Dad... was doing Well.

: )

She said... Dad had hypothermia... some smoke inhalation... but, he was in Good Spirits, 

they had visited...

 laughed, together...

and,

 for Once... the Dr. said, Dad's blood pressure was normal.

{That... should've been our first 'Red Flag'.

Dad's blood pressure was NEVER close to Normal. Ever.}

Dad... pretty much refused to take his blood pressure meds.

: (

He said... "They slow me down. I... don't feel good, when I take them."

Visited with Dad, over... and over, stressing... if he didn't take them, he'd be 

'Slowed Down' 

permanently,

with a 'Stroke'... or worse.

: (

I Loved Dad, Dearly. I... defended, Dad... and his 'choices', no matter what they were.

; )

The 'blood pressure' meds, well... he and I... went around, and around...

gently,

respectfully...

concerning them.

<3

 Knew... if Dad would've had a stroke... it would've been worse than 'Death', for him.

Sadly... Dad had suffered a Stroke, a few years prior.

The 'Sad' part... Dad, came right out of it, with no paralysis.

That... might seem like a 'Good' thing, to most.

Not to me.

Dad, thought... he was Invincible, after that.

: (

There was no way... of talking Dad into taking his meds, after that.

Dad... lived 'Life' 'His Way'. 

<3

I respect that.

<3

As I was rushing out the door, to the hospital...

with Son, Justin... in hand, 20 minutes after the Dr.'s call, 

the phone rang, again....

nearly, didn't answer it.

My hand was twisting the kitchen door's knob.

I answered it.

It was our Dr.

She said...

"Barb, things have changed drastically for the worse."

My scrambling brain... thought, 'if I throw out 'The Worst', she'll come back with something 'less'.'

I asked...

"Is he dead?"

Our Dr.'s reply...

"Yes... he is."

my knees hit the floor.

The Cake.

I couldn't go back... to Dad's 'Happy Place', the ground he'd loved so.

Asked John, to go... and salvage what he could.

John came Home, after going through the burned out wreckage....

he said...

"There's nothing salvageable... inside, but... there was a strange thing, a half eaten heart shaped Cake, that... for some reason, hadn't been touched by the fire."

<3

John had no idea... I'd baked that Cake, for Dad, the day prior.

<3

When I talk about 'Winks'... 

; )

trust me, 

I know.

; )

<3

I believe there are reasons... I wasn't 'called' that late February 12th, night.

I... couldn't have let Dad... 'go'.

Love to Ya...

Prayers for All.

Barb C.

{Was watching an interview this morning, with Olympic Skater, Maxim Naumov.

He lost his Parents... last year, with the horrific DC plane crash.

: (

His words, truly touched me.

<3

"The only way out... is through." }

<3

I demanded an autopsy of my Dad.

Dad died... from an Aortic Aneurysm.

An Enlarged Heart, from years of suffering with high blood pressure.