Images.

<3 <3 <3
I'm the only one.... left...... in this image.
Mom.... my...Sister, Chery.... John.....
and...
me.

John... took this one. : )
I was soooo Mad.... {hate to have my picture taken. }
oh my....
He hated it.... when I got Perms.
: )
He called me... a 'Burr Head!'....
I... got 'em.... anyway. ; )
He bought me... the Black Leather Jacket.... for Christmas....
I LIVED.... in that...Jacket. : )
Nearly.... died in it... in '83.
{it.. hangs... in the closet.... never far...from me : ) }
: )

John's 'Selfie'....
Long... before anyone knew... what a
'Selfie'... was.
{taken...about....35 years ago. }
: )
This... is what John looked like... when I first...met him...
and... he never ever... changed...one bit....
 in my eyes.

This is what I looked like, when we first met. : )
You'd never know... there were 17 years... between us.
I... have always looked much older, than my years....
John... always looked much Younger... than his.
But.... looks...aren't the important thing....
It's where your 'Head's At'....
John and I were Friends....
from the first time we met.
We Believed... in the same things.
Shared mutual... thoughts....
and Values.... from day one.
yes...
 we 'Understood'... each other.
There were a few times... when we... didn't.... but.... we always....
worked through them.
There...weren't any other options.... for either of us.
Quitting...
 Failure.....
 well.... they... weren't 'options'.....
for us.
We'd... always 'bend'... a little...for each other.
Find... Common Ground.... and move forward.
A Friend.... sent me an article...a 'Study'... about Grieving....yesterday.
It... made me cry.... and... understand... why, I feel the way I do.
Somehow.... knowing... that others, even a very small percentage of people....
understand....this.....
was...comforting.
They called it... 'Complicated Grief'....
{yes.... of course.... this is....
everything... in our Lives.... have been. : ) }
I, know.... some of my friends.... probably think... I'm 'depressed'.....
: )
It's not that simple.
There is no pill.... or therapy.... that will... ease this.
Even if there was.... I'm not sure.... I'd take it.
Our Journey... makes us...who we are.
This Loss..... will change me. It already has.
It...will continue....to do so.
I find myself.... in a very...difficult... situation.
I... am nearly out of time.... financially.... to 'grieve'.
Guess.... this will be a Major Test.... for my heart and soul.
Can... I find my feet.... can.... I take on....each day.....
will I be able to 'stand'.....
?
Seems.... I'm being hit.... from every direction.... on a daily basis.
If...anything could go wrong.... it has.
but.... with every Blow....
that would have dropped me... before.....
well....
I'm so numb.... the Blows.... are almost.... laughable.
They...all... Pale... in comparison.... to the Real....Blow.
: )
I'm not...asking anyone.... to feel sorry.
I....simply...had to say this, so.... maybe... you'll understand..... why.... I am...the way I am.
Forgive me.... for my.... insanity. : )
Love...to ya....
Barb C.

I took this 'selfie'.... a while back......

what I didn't share.....

were the images... below... I captured before this.

: )

we..... never... walk alone.

One of the feelings.... I miss...
is...
'Feeling'.
Feeling... the Aura.... of people.
I...know, this sounds strange.
but....
I...could always....always... 'feel'...
'happiness'...
 'sadness'....
'energy'....
around...people.
I'm so numb..... : )
well....
I...can't 'feel'...that..... anymore.
I'm...sorry...for that.
but...then, maybe.... it's a Blessing.