Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Thank You.

I have tried, and tried, to write, about this, this weekend....
but... I can't....
I have written several drafts.... but, can't finish them...
but...
I want to Thank... Everyone...
for helping this weekend....
There were many...
God Bless Each and Every One...of Them.
I... go to bed... in John's chair... crying....
and wake up.... crying....
I, am so... very...very... broken.....
words can't express....
The Kids... are Broken....the Critters....
as well.....
John fought Hard....
I fought Hard... for him....
we never saw this coming....
ever.
The sale, went on.... Thanks, to everyone... who helped with it...
 God Bless... You All....
I have many... many mountains to climb, and I'm so... very...very...tired, and weak.
not to mention.... completely.... heart broken....
I... keep asking myself.... "what just happened?"
"how...can this be?'....
I didn't give up on John...I wouldn't.... I Pushed the Dr.'s to the Limit....
They did....Everything... I Mean... Everything.... they could.. to save him...
They told me... after they had been working on him... for sometime... 99% of people, who come in like John did.... doesn't make it...
I said...
"There's 1%... We'll Take It... Make It So. "
it just wasn't enough.....
{John collapsed as we walked out the door....Sunday Morning.... en route to the hospital....
He had fallen in the night, and laid on the bathroom floor, until Polly barked, when she heard him yell...for me... I called Justin, who came from his Home... to help us...
John was so weak, and short of breath.... for the last week.... but, didn't want to go to the hospital...We... had to go.... Sunday... Mark and Peg... helped us.... I called an ambulance.... but... I think... John, may have left us... right here, at the door....
They said, he was kind of in a coma.... yet... when I asked him...he squeezed my hand... he also, nodded, at Liz... when she said... "You know...I Love You...Dad... and...I Know... You Love Me"
 His blood pressure....would not come up.... {except, when he heard Justin's voice....then, it would go up...to about 65... {as high, as it ever got....it hovered in the 30's and 40's... }
They brought him back...twice, at least... with cpr.
I....still... can't believe it.... I...just can not.... believe this....
He went 'Home'... about 4:00 Sunday afternoon....
Peg, just happened to be here.... {Angel sent...} and Mark... helped so much....
along with so many....
Lynn and Lea... Gayle... B.J. Sarah and Sarah...{Bill } Mark and Peg's Daughters....
Maurina... Cindy B. Pattie...Steph...Cindy and Tom... where all here for us....
oh my....
I can't  write any more.....
I know, I have to be strong...for the Kids.... and get so much done...
but... I don't know, how...I really.... don't know how.
Barb C.




5 comments:

sue in mexico mo said...

My heart breaks for you. Life can be so very hard. . . Cherish all of your wonderful memories and somehow get through the next few hours, days, weeks, etc. Please know that I am thinking of you, your family, and friends.

cindy said...

Beautifully written update. Now as to how you'll get it done, you'll do it with God's help, one step at a time. Don't try and take 2 steps, you aren't strong enough for that yet, just one step and be glad you got that one done. Rome wasn't built in a day, grief isn't over in a night. Let it take it's journey.

Anonymous said...

We drove by Sunday on the way to church just as the ambulance was pulling away and prayed. We just didn't know that the healing we were praying for was the complete one where no pain, illness can be found. Our prayers continue for you and family that you will be held in the palm of God's hand and comforted in your grief, given strength & courage to press on and find solace in your shop and with your many friends. So glad we met Saturday!
Blessings, peace & love. Mary McKenney, Dallas

simplyiowa said...

Thank You... Cindy...
What a Gift, you and Tom have been, in or lives... Love ya... : )
Barb C.

simplyiowa said...

Mary... I was so Moved... by the Prayer...on Saturday.... I asked...Everyone, I came in contact with... to Pray for John... Your Husband, offered... before I could ask... : ) It was so Powerful... when You and Your Husband....stood there... with me... and embraced me... in Prayer... for John... I shared that, with John.... he was so...Moved. God Bless You... and Thank You.... I consider you... and so many others...who have Prayed, and continue to 'Keep' us... our Angels... Heaven Sent...Angels.. to carry us...
Thank You.
Barb C.