Wednesday, February 20, 2019

If Walls...could talk.

If Walls...could talk.
With these 'Snow Days'....that, everyone....seems to be so tired of, I....
actually, find myself...loving them.
Maybe, it's because....they give me an excuse, for doing absolutely nothing, and...
not feeling any guilt, about it.
I looked through pictures, this afternoon...as I was trying to decide what to write about, this Evening.
It makes me a little sad, because...not many years ago.....
instead of looking back, I would've been Bouncin' Through...this Beautiful Snow, and have images to share...
that...are as Fresh, as the Sparkling Beauty, that fell...last night.
The images I chose, are of our Home.
The Walls. 
<3 
We've had some...Very....Happy Times, here. 
: )
My mind, this Evening...goes back....to what The Walls heard, about 5 years ago.
It was the very first night, I slept here...within these walls, without John.
He'd slept...many, many...nights, without me...here.
I'm on the road...so much, with my wares.
Nashville.
Rochester.
Des Moines.
and...
Many other, Events, here and there...for days.
I...know, John kinda enjoyed...having The House to himself, while I was away.
<3 
: )
I, also...know, he Missed me, when I was gone...a little too long. : ) <3 
I was always...so....busy.
So Much...to Get Done. 
So...Many, obligations.
No One...Understood that, better than John.
We've Always...had to Pull, a Heavy Load.
My mind, went back....this Evening, to that First Night, without...John, being here.
It, was the day...he was admitted to the hospital.
The First Time, John...had ever been in a Hospital.
The...Evening, we were told...his vertigo, that he'd been battling...
was caused by brain cancer.
I went into Overdrive.
Totally....Took The Wheel.
I had to come Home...that night, to care for Polly, and Nicky.
I remember....opening the door, to let them outside.
I closed...the door, behind them.
then...
I walked to where that big...empty...oval...frame is,
and...
SCREAMED!!!!
I SCREAMED....at The Top of My Lungs...
until...
I was out of breath.
I couldn't let anyone...anyone, hear that.
not...even, our Beloved...Dogs.
I, especially...couldn't let John know.
We were in...for The Battle, of our lives.
Losing...wasn't an option.
Being weak.
Showing...any, kind of weakness...
wasn't an option.
These...walls, saw my weakness.
They, comfort me...now. 
so...on these 'Snow Days'...
when, I have...an 'excuse', that...I don't feel sorry for, 
I'm thankful, to be Enveloped...by them.
<3
They, are what John...Built. 
They're like his arms....around me.
<3 
Love...to ya.
Barb C. 
{The Tammy Wynette tune, 'Til I can Make It on my Own', I posted, above...is one, I've loved...since I was very young.
I used to listen to this Album...over, and over, at night, after I moved out, on my own, long before I met John. 
It still...plays, over and over...in my mind. 
Guess, it always...will. 
I talk to John, like he's here....with me, everyday. 
I, don't think I could make it through, if I didn't believe he is. }
{On that same...Album, is the tune... 'Woman to Woman'. 
I'll take some heat, over that one, and...'Stand by Your Man'. 
<3
all I can say, to the 'Flame Throwers'...
: )
Bring It On. }
: )
Hahahaha!
The Top...
Tammy Wynette Tune, pretty much...
Says it All. <3
Always...will. <3 <3 <3








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