Friday, November 6, 2015

My Brother... Larry.

My Brother, Larry. : )
He's the 'Guy' : ) ... standing next to Son, Justin.. in the striped shirt. : )
I took this image... just after our Mom's Memorial... last July. 
I...am in shock.
as we all are. 
I visited with Larry... about 10 days ago.
We talked...about once a month. : )
We had a Long... Lovely... 
conversation.
The call ended... like they always have.
"Love, Ya... Lar."
"Love ya...Sis."
: ) 
I received 'the call'... from my Niece, Kari... this morning.
I looked at my phone... after, and noticed my other Niece, Ellen... had texted me...
last night.
Kari... lives in Illinois.
Ellen... Colorado.
Ellen, had asked me to check in. 
I... am Thankful... I didn't see it.
Ellen called my Brother in Law, to go check.... 
Jim... found Larry... this morning.
Had...I seen the text... Miss. Scarlett and I... would have been there last night.
They think... Larry passed away... two days ago. 
oh my. 
Larry, wouldn't have wanted us there. 
I Thanked... Jim... this morning... for his Gift... to us.
I am.. the 'Black Sheep'... : ) 
Larry turned to me... a few times... over my life.
He knew... I'd figure out a way... and we'd get through it. : )
He...was also... there for me... when times were tuff. : )
Neither of us... asked much... from each other.
yet...
we both knew.... when the chips... were down...
we had each other's back.
'Family'. 
We don't know... exactly... what happened, yet.
In reality... it doesn't matter.
: (
I did have to laugh... with Ellen... today.
: )
Larry didn't 'believe'... like I did... and do.: ) 
He knew.... there was 'something' out there....
but... wouldn't call 'it' by name.
: ) That's o.k. : )
I told her... I Just Wished... I could have seen his face....
when he saw the Lord... reaching out to him...
and... Embracing him.... in His Loving...Arms. <3 
{he'd have had to admit... his Sis... was right.... : ) } 

The last year and a half...
I have lost... 
my Mother...
John...
My Husband.... 
{Love of my Life... Soul Mate}
Amazing... Sister in Law, Shirley.
Brother, Sonny...
and, now...
Brother, Larry. 
For the first time....
through all of the Loss....
today...
my knees...
buckled.
my body....
trembled.
I...So want to console... my Family... who have, also.... Lost...So...Much.
Thank... my Friends...
 who have been so Kind.... over the last year and a half.
yet.... I have pulled... inside...myself. 
I realized... the other day...
I, have nothing left... to 'give'.
I'm sorry....for that. 
but...
I... simply... am numb.
been that way.... since a year ago... February. 
Please know... how Thankful... I am...
for All of The Blessings.
Please... 'Keep' our Family... in your Prayers.
Love, to You.
Barb C.
Chery, Merry Jo, me... Mom...
and...
Larry.
<3
Seems I always find Music... in the People...I Love.
Larry, reminded me... from when I was a little girl....
of...
Robert Goulet.
: )
I found the tune above.... by... Goulet... that was exactly... how Larry left us.
oh my.
All of my Beloveds...except John... have left... this way.
Guess they all knew.... I couldn't let them go.
I...wasn't there....to Pitch a Fit..... Beg Them... to Hold On.
Dad left... just before I could get there. {20 minutes....}
Chery went 'Home' the only morning... I couldn't be with her.
Mom... just after I went home... to take care of the Hounds.
I couldn't let John go.... I fought... Everyone... even the Chaplain.
I...still... can't let him go.
Never will.
I...couldn't have let Larry go... either.
selfish... me.


 




3 comments:

summersundays-jw said...

You have more to give....you just don't know it yet. I know this is such a difficult time for you but like always, you'll rise to the occasion and do what you have to do. You hang in there girl....there's something big ahead for you. Just wait and see! Love ya', Jan

sue in mexico mo said...

Barb, I am so sorry.

Rita C. said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Barbara. Beautiful song choice from Robert Goulet to honor your brother's passing and your memory of him. What a lonely road you've had to travel these last months.