Monday, March 31, 2014

Angels....Flowers... Old...Trucks...and...Patched... Knees... : )

Val...did such a Sweet.... Planting... in this Old Truck...
One...of Several... Lynn and Lea... brought.... for the Garden Party....
oh my.....
It would sure be... easy... for it t find it's way, to the house....
but...
it won't....
Darn.
oh...my....
Thanks So Much....
to Lynn and Lea....
for gathering the Most.... Amazing.....
Old Sand Box Toys....
and bringing them....
to the rabbit hole...
for The Garden Party....
: )
I see...my Dad.... every time... I look at these Rusty... Old...Darlings....
{I remember, riding in an old Truck.... like this...with Dad... No Hood... No Windshield...
my seat... was a five gallon bucket....
oh my. : )
Memories....
Sweet...
Memories...
and...
Angels.
: )
I Busted Butt... this morn....
getting the truck unloaded....
Brandon B. {one of Justin's Long Time Friends....}
and the old...Hatter...
Made 'er Happen....
In Double Time!!!
Carolyn was cleaning away... when I found my way, to the rabbit hole.....
then... Steph and Paige... popped in.... and helped.... pull from the Big Truck.....
as well...
Angels!
: )
I took John in...for his radiation.... around 1:15.... when he was done... he requested a Fish Sandwich....
I was at a Dead Run.... knowing Pal, Val.... was on her way.... as was Liz....
{More...Angels....! }
I no more... than got out of the car....
to get his meal....
tripped.... and went down...
hard...
on the concrete....
John yelled.... asking if I was hurt....
{I honestly thought...I was going to throw up..... : )}
oh my....
I... thought to myself....
How Many... pants I wore... as a child.... that Mom, had patched the knees on....
{I don't think...I had a single pair... that wasn't patched...
 My knees... were scabbed....from the time I was 4... until...12.... : ) }
One would think.... at my age... I wouldn't need patches....
: )
{to  the point... I remember... Mom buying Jeans... with re enforced knees... {Ruff Necks...} {guess she got tired... of patching... : ) }
{most every pair, of leggings... I own... have the knees torn out.... from falling....
seems my mind... is always...miles ahead... of my feet...and Down... I Go!
I was telling Peg... about it, tonight... She reminded me...of the time... I was sweeping the back of the Big Truck out... at Gold Rush....
and... walked straight off of the back....
a four foot drop... flat on my face....
{Knees... and Hands... : ) }
She said... all she could do... was stand there... with her jaw dropped....
{I remember seeing her face...{looking up.... from the ground...}
 it was Priceless... : ) : ) : ) as was the rest of the spectators! oh my...}
She said... "I...couldn't believe... you got up.... I thought for sure... you Must Have Broken Something....!"..... she said... Girl...when you fall... you Fall... Hard.... : )
 yeah... I think... that's a pattern...
Seems.....everything...I do... always seems... to be the 'Hard'...way... : ) }
John... is Exhausted.....
The radiation.... is already... hitting him hard....
oh my....
But... He's a Fighter!
He'll Get Through This!
Please... Keep Him... in Your Prayers!
The Radiologist... is very Happy...with the way things are going.....
{Thank You...My Angels... for The Prayers!!! They Work!!!! }
Val...and Liz, were here... when we got back....
Val... had Dozens... of Beautiful Plants..... and was busy potting things up.....
Oh My!
So...Beautiful!
and...Liz... was shuffling... mounds of Treasures....
throughout the rabbit hole...
Bless Their Hearts...
but....
when I get tired....
All... I see....
is what still.... needs to be done....
there...is Much.
The weather.... was something to contend with....today.
Brandon and I.... fought the rain...this morn...
I... fought the wind... the rest of the day....
The tent poles... were dropping... the tarp...was trying to Fly....
I...kept tying poles down.... and Praying.... the entire tent... with... it's contents... wouldn't wind up... in the next County....
most of the day....
what a ride.
oh my.
So far... so... good....
but... it was... a scary.... afternoon.....
Tomorrow...
we'll be back at it....
: )
John has two appointments....
but...
I'll dig in... bright and early....
I was sooooo tired...tonight....
I just sat, and watched Val.... Plant...and Plant...and...Plant....
{she is Such... a Gift. : ) }
I told her... any other time... I'd feel guilty.... about being a 'slug'....
: )
Tonight...
not...so... much.
: )
It was a Long Day....
by 2:00....
oh my.
Love... to ya....
Keep those Beautiful... Prayers Comin'!
My Angels....
: )
Wings...
Pounding!!! 
{for Peg.... too.... : ) she is fighting a Mess....oh my....}
yes....
Prayers... Prayers...Prayers....
 To All.... who Suffer... today...
God Bless...
Everyone...}
Love...to You....
Barb C.










I posted the song above.... for Liz.... : )
She says.... every time she walks in the house.... or gets in Sally.... it's playing....
: )
yeah...
I hear it...
in my sleep....
: )















Sunday, March 30, 2014

Just... don't tell 'em.... I've gone Crazy..... : )

They say....
when you need something done...
ask...
the busiest... most hardworking person you know....
: )
the fact is....
you don't have to ask 'em....
they Volunteer.
: )
Stephanie.....
{Stephanie Walsh Brandenburg {Frond Design Studio... Stephanie Brandenburg Fabrics}
Is.... one of the Hardest Working.... Humans....
on this Earth....
and here she is....
Taring In.... to the Vortex.....
: )
oh dear....
I...don't think.... even she knew....
what she was getting in to.....
She should have asked Peg......
before hand....
It Truly...Is...
a Vortex...
: )
Miss Audrey.....
Sweet Cheeks... Tasty Treats....
another....
BUSY..... Bee.....
always.... always....
takes care of me....us.....
{she even left treats.... for Scout a roo.... : ) }
: )
She....is, and has been.... for so many years.....
A Gift....
an...
Angel....
in my life....
: )
{Thanks... Aud. You... Rock.}
Love... You.
The Rabbit Hole....
is finding it's feet....
Open House....
Moments....
away...
This Friday, the 4th....
through Sunday....
oh my....
: )
The Tulips....
were part....
of such an Amazing Gift....
from Bridgette......
She shared with me.... Her Journey....
over the last, several years.....
oh my.
oh my....
I...at this time... in my life.....
have my emotions.... bottled up.... so tightly....
I.... can't...stumble.....
but... I hope... she knows....
how very much...
she touched me.... with her visit.
God... Bless Her....
: )
I worked down the rabbit hole, today.....
so Much... to get done... before Friday.
 Packed 'Christmas', away......
: (
but...
when it came to the old cardboard houses....
oh my...
I had them all.... in a tote...
then...
pulled them all.... out...
and re set them for Spring....
I...couldn't.... bury them....
I simply... could not.
oh my.
crazy....
My spirit.... has been.... a bit...
 'Thumped' on...
the last couple days....
: )
kind of.... hard.....
oh...my.
: )
I awoke....to my entire body......
trembling.....
this morn....
what a ride.
Thank God.... for the Friends... Angels.... like the ones... mentioned, above...
and...Lynn... and Lea....{Allyson...and Bethany....}
{Angels..... : )}
Along with...the Ones... who... have sent...such Amazing Support....
You.... Know... who you are.....
: ) : ) : )
Love You....
and...
Thank You....
 : )
John....
took in some....
Sun...this afternoon.....
: )
{Thank God... for The Sun....
and Warmer Weather..... : ) 
He Is...Fighting.... this mess.....
So Hard...
{He'll Win.... : ) }
I so...wish, I'd had the camera....
while I was unloading.... at his shop....
this afternoon.....
: )
I saw the door... of the Ranger, open....
and a foot.... propped up... on the door glass...
: )
It was John.... Sunning Himself....
: )
like a Turtle....
on an old log......
: )
It was So Good.... seeing him...
and...
him....
Finding His Way....
{all by himself.... : ) }
to The Ford...
: )
oh my.
Love...to Ya....
: )
Barb C.








Saturday, March 29, 2014

no.... you'll never... walk alone.

I was so very.....
very....
Blessed... today....
and didn't walk... alone....
for one... moment.
: )
My.....Dear.... Friends...
Steph... Lynn and Lea....
came... and helped... begin..to pull....
the rabbit hole...
on it's feet.
: )
oh my....
We were all...pulled into it's vortex.....
what a ride.
What.... would I do....
with out...Such.... Amazing....
Friends.?
Angels....
oh my.
oh...
my.
I....am so....very.... humbled....
words... can not.... express....
oh my.
oh... my.
I...am also....
so very...tired....
All I can say.... is ....
I...Never... Walk... Alone....
: )
God.... Bless... 'em.....
: )
 {Thanks... so much... to Aud.... for bringing us...her Sweet Cheeks Tasty Treats.... {and... Yummies...for Scout... too... : ) }
and... Bridgette... for bringing such beautiful... Gifts.....
and...
sharing her.... 'Journey'....
what a Gift.
God... Bless Them...
: ) }
Love to you...
Barb C.
{I'll have images... tomorrow..... Lynn and Lea.... brought some Darling.... Treasures....
It's going to be.... a Great..... Garden Party Weekend... : ) }

Friday, March 28, 2014

oh my. : )




Blessings..... : )

oh my....
: )
as I sit here.... this Evening....
counting.... all of my Blessings....

I am...
Humbled.
The Angels... sure are watching over us...
: )
I...forget that... sometimes....
My Head....
has spun around... so many times... over the last many months....
I don't know... what's keeping it on my neck.
: )
I...know it's difficult, to leave comments...here, on blogger...
Many... have left them...via e-mail... text... or on my fb page...
oh my....
Or... have sent.... through the mail...{that...honestly... I haven't been checking.... until the last few days.... oh... my... God Bless You...All.... {Sue Austin... Thank You.... for the Wishes... sent to John... in the Hospital... they brought tears to his eyes... God Bless You...}
Through fb.... I posted, today.... about the Blessings.
I know... it can be a first thought.... when so many... trials... land on folks.... to feel... there is... evil... behind it....
My sister... even wrote... "We are being Attacked!"....
{I burst out laughing.... when I read that.... : ) oh dear....}
{Bless Her Heart! }
I...see...the exact... opposite.
: )
I read from my Streams in the Desert...yesterday....
{what the Lord... chose for me.... : )
 I...always let Him... find the page... I Need...to see. }
It began with....
"Grain Must be Ground to Make Bread".....
One of my Favorites.....
: )
After the Beautiful.... message....
it said....
"Combat comes...before Victory...
If God has chosen special trials for you to endure....
Be assured, He has kept a very special place...
in His Heart....
just for you.
A badly bruised soul....
is one who is chosen. "
Seems.... many of us... are 'chosen'....
these days.... : )
yet...we should never forget these words.
I...see... Blessings... at every turn....
I...will give... the evil one...
 Nothing.....
It must Pain... him... so... to see the cards... and comments....
I... and my Loved Ones....
have read...
and know... how we seek only... the Light.....
: )
The Prayers... and Kind Thoughts....
that have come our way....
All of the Positive.... that 'it' so....
despises....
: )
what a Slap In The Face...
it must be....
to 'it'....
oh my.
: )
Blessings.
: )
I...We.... Feel...So Very Blessed....
Through...This Journey.....
after all...
This Journey.... is such a short one....
I think... as I write...this.... of the 23rd Psalm...
'The Lord... is My Shepherd....
I shall not want....
He maketh me...to lie down...
in Green Pastures....
He Leadeth me...beside... Still....waters....
He Restoreth my Soul....
He Leadeth me... in the paths of Righteousness....
for His Name's...sake...
Yea... though...
I walk through The Valley... of the shadow of death....
I will fear... No evil....
for Thou... art With Me.....
thy Rod... and thy Staff...
They Comfort Me....
Thou preparest a table...before me.....
in the presence of mine enemies.....
Thou... anointest my head with oil....
My Cup...
Runneth Over.
Surely... Goodness... and Mercy.....
Shall Follow Me....
All The Days...
of My Life.
and... I Will....
Dwell...
In The House...
of...
The Lord...
Forever.'
oh my...
: )
Sometimes.... I forget....
what comes... to me..... and mine...
has to come through...
Him...
first...
: )
He...Watches Over... All... of Us....
: )
I...know, it's painful.... to read some of the things...
I write...
But... please... remember....
The Angels... carry me... and the ones I hold... so very dear....
{along...with You... too... : ) }
What... you may not know.....
or realize...
You....
are our Angels....
: )
{trust me... I know an Angel... when I see one....
I have said for YEARS.... "Only Angels... walk through the door.... of the rabbit hole...."
When.... I have a moment.... that I don't have to fight.... like a Warrior....
and can stop.... holding my head.... from spinning.....
I'll write... all about it.....
: )
For...today.....
I'll count The Blessings....
oh my.....
oh...my.
Love You...Thank You...
and...
Angels...
my...Perfect....
Angels....
Keep Those Wings....
Pounding!!!!
Barb C.
{and... Thank You.... for Holding us... 'Keeping'....us...in Your...Loving... Arms..... : ) }
{and...to Aud... {Sweet Cheeks... Tasty Treats }.... I Love... Love... Love... You. : ) }




Wednesday, March 26, 2014

John Found His...Way......

John...was determined....
to find his way...
to the shop... this Morn....
He's using a walker....
and can't be alone.... yet.....
Justin and Eddie...met him at the door....
before I knew what was going on.....
I heard them Laughing...and Crying....
as they helped John... out the door....
I scrambled...for my little camera....
that was laying frozen... in the car.....
{with a nearly dead battery.....}
and ran.... to the shop...
and captured this.... foggy...image.....
I wish I could have gotten the ones....
when Sweetie and Brutie.... Welcomed John.... Home....
They sat at his side....
then...when John found...his old... chair....
they both... gently sat up...with their paws.... softly..resting on his lap....
and...cried.
oh my....
All the Critters.... are so Happy.... to see him...
When Nicky, first saw him.... here at Home....
yesterday....
he... was.....almost.... somber.....
When John sat down.... he came to his side.....
gently laid his head.... on John's lap.....
and didn't even wag his tail....
He just stood there....still..... and in silence.....
I think... understanding.... all of the pain... and suffering....
John has had to endure.... over the last few weeks....
oh my....
I took John in, for his first radiation appointment....
this Morn....
and it went fine....
I'm scrambling... to get Medicare.... to cover him....
tho... everyone seems to have their doubts.....
I...simply...can't understand.... 
if... as they said... at The SS office...
He is entitled... and has been.... for over a year.....
the only reason...they won't cover him.... until July.... is because... he didn't file... in a timely manner....
{I filed for him... a week... before he went to the Hospital....before we had a clue... what the 'unthinkable'... was to be..... I was struggling...paying for his therapy... for Vertigo.... and blood work.... then... 
He was never notified... of when...to file....{they said..... they don't send anything, to inform you...'when'... } several folks told him...to wait.... until he was older.....to file... for a little better benefits... they... were.... sadly.... wrong.}
I don't get it....
I'm going to keep searching......
We'll never be able to crawl out... from under this.... mountain.....
oh my......
Pray for us....
Love You...
and Thank You....
Barb C.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

He's No Stranger... to The Rain...

I have had a lot..... of time...
to think...
the last many weeks....
When I posted John's Homecoming... on fb.
I wanted to attach it...to a song...
I...immediately thought of the one... posted above....
John...is No Stranger... to The Rain....
I... thought about...his life....
the Trials... and Tribulation....
from long before... I was born....
'til...now....
This Man..... has always...
Danced... Through Hurricanes....
: )
Ruff Roads.... Mountains....
{I could write a Novel... on what John...has had to deal with.... from the time he was a child....but... you'll never hear him... complain.... ever. }
oh yeah....
cancer....
well....
it doesn't stand...a chance.
The only line.... I have a problem with.... in this song...
concerns.... 'Brothers'....
John's Brothers.... have been His Rock.....
through this....
{Including... Cousin Duff... {his 4th Brother... : ) and, Son...Justin.... : )
oh my.... }
You put John... Justin... Donald... Chuck.... Ken..... and Duff.... together...
all I can say to cancer.....
"RUN!!!!! RUN!!!! RUN!!!!!"
then...
you throw in a Devoted Daughter.... like Liz....
{John refers to her as his... 'Ziva'.... {from NCIS} : )
oh dear... : ) }
And The Rest.... of His...Loving Family.....
: )
and...
then...
there's me...
{I've been known to 'rumble'... a time or two.... for 'the cause'....}
yeah...
seriously... ?
Then...
There's....
You...
the ones... I... lean on... so Hard....
Our... Friends... and Neighbors....
along with...the Ones.... whom... I have never seen a face....
only... your... Heart....
You are All....
The Ones....
I call...
'My Angels'....
: )
God... Bless You....
You... Carry Us....now....
You...Send...The Power....
The Prayers....The Light...
The Positive....
That Bends... The Ear.....
of The Almighty....
: )
Thank You....
: )
I have had...many... folks asking....
'What are they saying.... what are his chances....?'
All I can say... is....
"I don't care... what they say.... or...give a moment's thought.... to their 'opinion'..."
and...
I won't...speak of it... think of it... or...
put it... into words....
{Peg was told... recently, if she had asked, two and a half years ago...
'how long'
they would have said....
"weeks.... maybe... months"....
that was at Mayo....
They are Shocked........
by her Progress......
{at Mayo!!! oh my! }
You see...
Prayers.... Light.... and Positive Thinking....
Work....
Negative...
Anything...
Fails.....
God Bless... You...
Thank You....
Love You....
Love...You...
Love...
You.
Barb C.




The Homecoming.....

Sounds like John...will finally find his way, Home...
tomorrow....
: )
He will do so much better... recover... faster, here... at Home....
tho...
it's going to be a long journey....
with... many uncertainties....
{don't ever wait to file for Medicare.... seems... if John would have filed, on time... he'd be totally covered....
Though...he is entitled... they won't cover him... because, he filed late....}
I looked at the kind woman, at the Social Security Office...today... who said this to me.... and....
said....
"I could understand... if you would give me any...other reason.... but... 'filing late'....on a single... piece of paper...
 You won't cover him... now... tho... he's been eligible... all along?".......
they'll pick him up...in July...
too... late.
{I'm filing an Appeal... she assured me... would be denied... }
We'll see....
I won't even...get into all of Mom's.....issues....
Mom...had money appropriated for this time....
 she and I...both... thought she was covered....
We were Assured.... she would be....
seems... not so much.
That was 16 years ago... costs have risen... faster than interest.
I called the concerned parties....
and said....
"Let's Make a Deal"....
Business....
Money....
{makes me...sick...}
we did....
I'll make it happen.... and not let them down....
I know... they need to be paid....
they have bills...too....
we all do.
oh my.....
seems... every turn....
today...
 was the wrong...one.
Liz rode with, on part of the journey....today.
she just shook her head.....
as doors closed....in our faces.... again... and again.....
but...
I don't give up....
I won't... give up......
then...
We went to the Nursing Home....
to gather up...Mom's belongings.....
and...
gathered... more...paperwork....
I went through...all of Mom's things....
as Liz...sat silently.... on her bed....
gently... sorting...and reminiscing....
 while I was packing....
She looked so 'Heartbroken'....
but...
I...just kept... going.....
and packing.....
never... shedding a tear....
oh my....
oh my....
I thought about that... tonight....
I should have held... her...
comforted...her....
but....
I couldn't....
There is so much.... yet to be done....
so much... to handle... deal with... fight for....
I can't think about... sorrow... or sadness... now....
I called Liz...tonight....
after....
seeing her face...over...and over.... in my mind......
throughout the evening.... while preparing the House...
for John's return....
How... she must have thought... what a... cold.... and unfeeling...
 Mother...she has..........
oh...my...
oh...my.....
unfortunately...
I know from experience....
 if... I stumble now....
even...for a moment....
I'll never find my feet.....
again....
I was reminded ... of the movie.... Gone With the Wind....
she and I...have watched... a Million... times... together....
and shared a couple clips ...on her fb.....
that seemed... fitting.
then...called her....
and.... expressed my feelings with her....
How... I so... wanted to console her.....
but... knew, I couldn't....
and said....
"There will be a day.... when all of this... catches up...
with me...
all...of the heartbreak....
but...
It can't be today...
or...
tomorrow...
or...
maybe.... for weeks....
or months....
Now...
There is a Battle... to be fought...
Many... Battles...."
She said.... she never thought... any of the above...
: )
That's... my Girl.
God... Love Her.
Love to ya....
Barb C.
{I wrote this...last night......
I'm getting ready to head out the door...now... and bring John...Home....
Blessing....
 get him settled.....
then...begin....
to
pull things..together, here....
and the rabbit hole.
: )
Please... keep us in your Prayers... : ) }








Sunday, March 23, 2014

Hope....

I had promised an update...last night...
but...
Miss Scarlett, came and spent the night with me....: )
Blessing....
{Me...in John's recliner.... Miss. Scarlett..in mine... Polly... in hers... and...
Nicky.... nestled on his Bed, and Pillow.... at the foot... of John's recliner... : ) oh my....
we were packed in...tight....}
Miss.Scarlett... Danced and Sang...to me... last night.... She has an Amazing Gift... of Song.....
So Very Much.... like her Great.... Grandmother.....
She...created her own...lyrics.... as she went along....
I can't begin...to count... how many times.....
she repeated....
"And...I Love You..... Grandma.......".... : )
Her...Little Voice... has a Most..Amazing...Vibrato....
that is so Powerful....coming...Straight.... from her... Little Soul....
I was...Floored....
I think... her Great Grandma... Rose... had a hand.... in this.... : )
Mom.... was singing My Wild Irish Rose... the night before she passed away...
and with me...
as I sang...
'You Are My Sunshine'.....
to her....
: )
Mom...struggled so...these last...many years....
But She Sang!!!!
No Matter...how Tuff... things were...
She Sang....
That...was a Gift.... to many....
It was  Gift....
to me....
oh my....
oh....my......
: ) : ) : )
{When...it was time... for Miss. Scarlett to go home, late this afternoon...
She Pitched... a Fit.
Cried... and Begged... to Stay.... with me...
Liz and I... have never seen her... behave this way...
She is always... always... so.... well behaved.....
She Truly Is... a Little Angel.... Looking Over... Grandma... : ) }
I could tell a long...and twisted tale....
of the 'battles'... over the last week....
moment...by...moment....
but...what's the point.
I realize... negativity... loves to thrive... on repeated.... fertilizing....
let's just say....
there have been some Negative Nellie's....
finding their way... to us....
they don't last long...around me.....
but... a couple have found their way to John.....
in my absence....
{I...take Nothing...Negative...at face value....
There is Always Hope... and Blessings.... in Every Situation....
if...
You Search for It....}
They have been put on the Run....
in Double...Time.
unfortunately... after the fact....
with strict orders.... only Positive Thinkers....
Believers....
come near our circle....
'Hope'.... is such a Fragile thing.....
Yet... is The Most Powerful.... Medicine....
'Healer'....
some folks.... don't seem to understand this.....
Mom will be cremated.... {her wishes...from the first time we discussed it... when I was a teenager...}
There will be a Celebration of Life....
held for her... here, at our Home... in late July or Early August....
when my sister, Merry Jo... and her Family, can be here... and John...is on his feet... : )
Everyone... is Invited....
: )
Her ashes will be buried... next to Dad's... just a mile up the road.... at The Fairfax Cemetery.....
: )
John... is still in the Hospital....
Therapy hasn't released him, yet....
He starts radiation, Tuesday....
38 treatments....
Then... will have chemo... when the wound is healed, on his head...
in a few weeks...
Pray...For....Him....
please....
: )
I feel so Very Blessed.... to have had so Many....
come to our aid....
With Food... Money.... Prayers....
Some....who are calling...and offering help.... in any way...
I will... be calling on them....
The Garden Party.... will go on... as Scheduled....
April 4th, 5th and 6th....
I Pray...for a Great Turn Out.
I have Never... accepted money....I haven't earned....from anyone.....
Those... who have offered.... I've said.....
"any other time... I wouldn't consider this....gift...
today... I'll say 'Thank You'.... and accept it."
I'm on fumes.... having our own... major financial battles to fight....not being able to work....for so long....
then... getting Mom's covered, too.....
 then.... as Allyson called it...
 "Catastrophic"... mountains.... with no insurance... for John....
oh my...
: )
oh my.
Pray...for us.....
I know... we'll make it through.....
and accept... whatever comes, our way....
I've put it in God's Hands.....
Your Gift...of Prayer...is Priceless....
It soothes... my spirit....
gives me Strength...
so I can carry on.....
with the Jobs.... that must be done.
and...keeps.... my Heart...
filled... to the Brim...
with Hope....
that No One....
can Touch.
Love to ya...
Barb C.
{I have to tell you.... on the last day.... of Mom's Life....
as I was going from one floor.... to the other.....
the Nurses....knew, {someone... had informed them... of our situation...}
they kept asking me.... if, I needed anything.... and...they couldn't imagine... how strong...I must be....
: )
I said....
" I'm fine..... a little weary...... but....
I have the Angels.... carrying me....now : )
My legs buckled.... weeks ago...."
Thanks...to All of The Prayers.... Loving Thoughts... and Light... being directed at us.....
from You...and So Many Others....
that have sent.... those Beautiful.... Angels.....
God.... Bless You.
and...
My Friends....
Keep Them... Coming.}
I posted the above song....and have played it....hundreds...of times...
over...and over... the last several days....
  remembering.... many...many...years ago....
when, I was at one of the darkest points... of my life...
Mom... spun me around...
Looked me in the eye....
and said...
"Barbie... Walk On.... and Hold Your Head...Up High."
I'm doing just...that.
: )
With Hope....
In My....
Heart.










Saturday, March 22, 2014

Blessings

As I was picking up...the bathroom...this Morn....
I turned around....
This...
Captured me....
I was so... moved....
then...
I had to capture it...
for You....
What a Blessing... it was...
 'Light'....
: )
I have much to report... but, things have been... intense... the last day....
I hope... to get you caught up...
this Eve...
I want to Thank You...for Your Continued Prayers....
I ask you... to keep them coming....
Love You...
Barb C.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Momma...left us... softly... this eve.

I Pray...
She Rests... in Peace...
High....on that Mountain....
She has Earned... It..
and Then...Some.


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

but...I'm tryin'.... : )

Oh My....
: )
It's been quite a day....
I slept... at Mama's side... last night...
then...
bounced between floors....
all day...
I...simply can't begin... to tell you....
what... my.... spirit... has endured....
these last.... couple of days....
I...have never... felt so weak... in my life.....
I...am a True....
Taurus... The Bull.....
I have been
 'The Warrior'...
 my Entire... Life....
: )
for those...
 I Hold Dear.....
If...I Love Ya...
You Want Me...
on Your...Team.....
I'll... Move Mountains...
to make sure...
Right... is Right....
and...don't Mess....
with the Ones... I Love...
but....
I find myself.....
at a disadvantage... these last.... many days....
My own...lungs.... are betraying me....
I...feel, like I have a touch of Pneumonia....
working on me....
and...
I am so...very.... weary......
I'm second guessing....
every decision I make....
and...feel... manipulated.... because....
of my... weakness.....
I....know... in my heart....
I Need... Rest....
When I left John...tonight...
he... shared with me...
the contents... of a 'visitor's'
'Message'...
oh... dear....
: )
I didn't let on... to him...
{he's battling for his Life...}
With his information...
and..all I have been fighting for... for Mom.....
tho....
I didn't want to....
I decided... to leave... Mom's side....
 {another battle... today.....}
to find...a little rest....
here... at 'home'....
I Know... to Fight...
like a Warrior....
I...need...rest....
oh my....
I have No...Problem... Helping someone 'Live'....
others.... they seem to have 'no problem'...
the other way... around....
The Problem Is...
We...
Have...
a...
Problem.
: )
oh dear....
I have to walk... in... in the Morn....
Suited... in Armor...
Horns...
Sharpened...
Mind....
Sharp.
I Have a Major... Battle....
coming...
Pray....
for this...
old... Bull...
I may have to cut loose.... some of those.... I've leaned on... Hard....
I don't take...
Betrayal... well.
I don't care who you are....
Trust...
is...
Everything.
You....
take that away....
I'm Done...
 With Ya...
and...
when I'm Done...
I'm... Done...
Bless Your... Heart.
: )
I'm Calling in...ALL of The Angels...
The Ones...with the Most...Beautiful.... Shining.... Perfect Wings....
but...
more importantly...
The Ones....
with ....
Singed... Smoldering.... Pin Feathers....
Just Like Mine....
seems....
They Always.... Always....
Get 'er Done....
: )
Love to Ya...
Barb C.



 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Angel Whispers... : )

I want to Thank...Everyone...
for the Continued Prayers... Food... Visits... Phone Calls...
and Support.
John...is making...strides, every day... : )
This is going to be a Long Road...
we'll take it....
: )
and Welcome... it....
be Thankful...for the Opportunity...
each day... for The Road....
Mom... oh my....
She is still in ICU this Morn....
When I visited her... yesterday Morn....
I ran my hand...across her arm...and caressed her shoulder....
I got the funniest feeling... in my hand....
It was like... Dad's hand... was overlapping...mine.....
and through... it....
It was a Gentle... moment... like I have never experienced...in my life....
like... he was working... 'through'... me...
I knew... at that moment, things have changed....
Mom couldn't talk.... and was resting.....
A few minutes later... Dr. Cearlock, walked in....
{he... is an Angel... Such a Gift... to our Family....
He shook his head... and said... "What's Going On! John Upstairs.... now... Mom....: )"
I apologized to him...
I said..."I should have warmed you...
before you took on Mom, and John...as Patients...."
{what a Blessing That Was..... }
I said... my closest Friends know... my life is a Vortex... the ones who get too close....
get Dragged In....
I shared the story... of my Friend, from years back... who had a Nick Name... for me, with him...
"Mary Todd"...
{Abe Lincoln's Wife}
My Friend and I visited...every Morning.... she'd listen to my daily...adventures...and Mountains...from the prior...
then... in a calm... matter of fact.... tone... {as only she had...}
she'd say...
"So... other than That... Mrs. Lincoln...How Was the Play???"
{sigh....}
the vortex....
: )
He Roared!
I then...sat down with him...
and told him... what I had just experienced... with Mom....
He knows... what Fighters... Scrappers.... Mom and I are....
But...
I told him...
Something has changed.....
I can feel it....
but... I also know, my head...has had to endure a lot... for a long... long... time....
and...I'm weary...
Mom...many years ago Trusted me...with her Life...
and to make decisions... for her... as she would, for herself....
not... for me, or anyone...else...
Follow...Her... Wishes...
I take that Very seriously.
I said... I wasn't sure... where my mind is... if... it's where it should be.....
So...
I said....
" I have Trusted You... with my life... for 30 years.... I'm asking you, to help me... guide me.... through the next journey.... with Mom.... "
He said he was already On Board.
and...he also said... "She's a Pretty Tuff Old Gal.... We'll take 'er One Day...at a Time...."
: )
That's all we're asking for...
: )
Now...My Angels...
I want you to know.... I could Feel... the Comfort...Your Prayers... are Enveloping me with....
Yesterday....
I had such... Beautiful...People.... surrounding me.... Angels....
Dean, and Marilyn .... brought food... Tons of Food....
 Michael... and His Loving Family... as well....
Totes Full!!!
Polly, from Our Amazing Bank.... came... and Gifted us..... with Food...and Treats....
Blessings....
But... like Liz says.....
"Prayer is Worth More... Than a Million Dollars"
We are So Very Blessed.... along with the Generous Gifts..... of Food....
They All... Like You....
are Giving Us...
such a Priceless... Gift...
Prayer....
The Lord...has His Hands...Over me...Our Family...and Friends....
with Everything... that comes to pass...
I find.... 'Good'....
It's like a puzzle....
I couldn't talk... to anyone.... until... I started putting the pieces, all together.....
Seems, for a while... they were all... ugly...raining down...so heavily.... on...and around us....
 then...
 there would be a good one....
Now... as I stand back.... as the pieces... are fitting together... to form a picture...
It's obvious... there are Many...more Blessings... than I had imagined...
and what a Beautiful...image, is taking form.
along with....
Angel... Whispers....
telling me... to keep looking... at each piece... carefully....
with every sense....
not just my eyes....
Mostly... with my Heart...
; )
Love You...
and...
Thank You...
Barb C.
 



Monday, March 17, 2014

STOP...the World... and let me off.

I sleep... in the recliner....
with Nicky and Polly....
by my side....
 with the phone... on my chest....
so I can hear it....
It rang....
at 2:40 this morn...
Mom was taken to the ER...
She's in the ICU.....
at Mercy....
I can't even... cry....
broke a blood vessel... in my left eye...
last week....
from doing way... to much of it.
Today, is Justin's Birthday.
I called him... this Morn... to remind him to get hay... and... where we should leave the trailer...so Katie can have her Ford back....
I was five minutes...into our conversation.....
before it Dawned on me....
I YELLED....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
oh my.....Lord....
all I can say is...
Stop The World....
and let me...
Off.


Fed... and Rested. : )


A Long...Day...
: )
Grabbed Breakfast, with Wanda and Terry... before we visited John... this morn....
As we talked..........
over Breakfast....
I said... 
I have to get things pulled together, for The Garden Party....
If...I don't get movin'...John won't have a Home...to come home to.....
I had made a call a couple weeks ago... to a contact, in Rochester, MN. {about 3 hours... North... }that has a Bunch.... of Old Gnarliness....
but...with John being so ill ....I couldn't leave him...for any length of time....
I thought....
If... I Hauled Fanny....
I could make that run.... today....
John is making Strides....
He Walked...the Halls Today!!!
and Showered....
oh my....
 but is So Tired.... 
He's been getting No Rest....
I told the nurse...to unplug the phone, in his room... and let him...sleep....
I told John...
Rest.
I was heading North....
It was Miss. Scarlett's 3rd Birthday....Party... Today....
{Her Birthday...is on the 18th... }
After I left John... I stopped by... and Visited, Miss. Scarlett....
and Wished Her.... The Best...Birthday... Ever....
I Held...Her... and Held...Her....
and...
Held... Her...
What a Blessing... Gift... These Little Ones... are... to Us... 
As I was heading Home... making arrangements...with Mark... who has my 14 foot enclosed trailer...
and Justin and Katie...to get it...picked up..... for me...
{Bless Mark's Heart... for Moving Fast... to have it ready, for Justin, and Katie....to pick up....
Bless Justin and Katie's Hearts... for Scramblin! at the Last Minute!}
My Phone... Beeped.....
{I had gotten a call...on a couple of old... Cupboards.... earlier, in the week....from a Friend....who had salvaged them...from an Old Farm House...that's coming down.....
I told him...then...I couldn't leave John.....
It was my Friend....... said, he was coming my way... and could deliver....
I told my him... if he could get them here...quick... I'd take them...
{He met at the storage garage...as Katie and Justin... brought her Amazing...Pink Ford...  Truck...for me to borrow... with the trailer...in tow...for the Mad Dash... to Rochester...}
Bless Their Hearts... 
Wanda...rode shotgun...to keep me...awake!
Bless Her Heart!!!
We Flew!
{Ain't Nothin' Like a Ford Power Stroke...Diesel....
Nothing...
oh my... }
We gathered...a Load....
Then...Beat Feet...
Home.
When I pulled in....I realized....
The Critters... hadn't been fed...
oh my...
It's Been a Long....
Day.
: )
Everyone...is Fed... and Rested...
Life...is Good.
: )
Love to ya....
My Angels...
Thank You... for Keeping Those Amazing Wings... POUNDING!!!
They... are what's Keeping Us.... 
oh my...
What a Job...You Have....
Bless Your...Hearts....
!!!
: )
Love Ya...
and...
Keep Up The AWESOME Work!!!!
Barb C.


These Old....Cupboards... 
are Amazing.
and... 
Big. 
Just Like... 
We Like 'em!



Saturday, March 15, 2014

Wind...Beneath my Wings.

Would you Believe... The Guy...in the chair...
being 'Served'... Great... Food by Miss. Scarlett...
had Major...Brain Cancer Surgery... 
yesterday?
{and shaved...a Thick... Beard...
 {grown over the last month...because, he was too weak, to shave...  }
all by Himself???
oh my...
If..for One Moment....
my Angels....
You don't think Prayers... work....
uh...
Think Again.....
: )
The Nurse said... she'll have him running laps...tonight.....
oh my....
: )
I can't THANK..... The Amazing Dr.'s... 
{Segal... Struthers and  Cearlock... }
The Lord... 
and His...Earth Angels...
{You}
for giving us...
This Day....
one more.....
with..My...Hero.....
Thank You....
Love Ya....
Keep Up...The Good Work...
God...
Bless You.
: )
Barb C.
{The above song... I have always said... is John and Mines....
{he would...so...disagree... }
I sang it to him.... at an Event... years ago...
He'd...Never... believe it...
but... it's true.
all of it....
every single word...of it...
He is...My Hero... 
and....
The Wind...
Beneath... 
my... singed... smoldering....frantically... flappin'....
wings.... : ) }
{I told the Neurosurgeon, Dr. Segal.... this Morn...in ICU...
 He has a Whole Flock of Angels... Praying Over His Hands.... : )
He said... "Thank You.... thank...you....: )  Prayer... Faith...is So...Important... : ) "
yeah... it...is.  : )}

.
Miss Lillie... and Miss Scarlett...
Kept Grandpa Company... this afternoon...
oh...
my...
Thank You...
Angels...
from...
The Family.
{This would have been Dad's 101st Birthday... Today.... : )
He...was also, The Wind... beneath my wings..... : ) : ) : )
in Spades...
: )
 101....
is John's...Favorite Number...
hmmmmmm......
Angels...
Winks....
: ) }

Friday, March 14, 2014

'Prayers'....

Well...
another Long... Day....
: )
The Surgeon... was True to his Word.
He removed the large mass... this Morn....
without a hitch!
 John... is resting tonight... in the ICU....
I've processed much... this week....
but as I slowly... put this puzzle together....
what I see.... more than anything....
is how Very Much... 
we are Blessed....
: )
The Family...and Friends.... who have Paraded through... the Hospital... to Support John....
is Amazing....
Even the Dr.'s and Nurses... keep commenting... about this....
oh my...
I read every comment...from here, and fb.... along with e-mails...and text messages...
and phone messages.... to John...
{I...still am finding it difficult... to talk to anyone... but... KNOW.... How Very Much.... I Love You All... I simply... can't talk... : ) and want to stay...Positive.... and not...repeat... or give... any negative... 'anything'... a whisper...of my breath... }
John...is... Amazed...
by how Many... Beautiful...Souls... are Pulling...for him... 
I...am Humbled... 
oh my....
There has...literally been a 'Dream Team'...around him...
From our...Angel, of a Family Doc... The Best... Neurosurgeon, and Neurologist....
The Nurses...have all taken a Shine... to John... and One... was so touched...by him....and totally connected with him.... she has kept a very close eye... wherever he goes.....
{even away from her department....}
I held her...in my arms... this Morn... consoling her.... before he went into surgery.....
: )
an....
Angel....
oh my....
There have been...Many....
There have been Ministers...and Chaplains... that somehow... found their way...to John's Room...
and Prayed with us.... 
Angels....
Yeah....
ya know what brought all of this... together...???
Prayers....
and Angels....
Beating Their Wings!!!!!
{and...a Whole...Lotta.... Faith!!! }
Thank YOU!
Thank You...
The Prayers...
 are what have Carried... all of us...
: )
Thank You.
The next 48 hours... are touch...and go....
The mass... was large... yet... it came out easily... {for an...Amazing Surgeon! }
Swelling...is a big... concern....
so, please....
Keep Those Wings... Beating!!!!
and The Light... Shining!!!!
: )
I'll keep ya posted...
: )
Love Ya... 
Love...
You...
and... 
Thank You....
from All... 
of My Heart....
John...and Family...
Barb C.