Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Half... that made me... whole.

I see... I took few images.... at John's Memorial.
The above.... and a few below, I took this morning... before we took everything... away.
I hope, others... captured a few....
It was a busy day.....
I would guess... 200 to 300 Friends and Family.... found their way...to us... throughout the afternoon, and evening.
We had Folks.... until after 11 last night.....
The Flowers... were incredible....
the Food... was, also... incredible...
The People.... were, Incredible.
Gifts...really.
John... would have so... Loved...to be Here....
Every Single One of Us... So Wished.... He Was.




This is where we had John's Ashes....
The Tent.... was his...
Memorial.
Katie and I, at the last minute, decided to hang the drop cloths 
the night before....
she had to run, and find some.... we had bought out our local store, for table coverings....
Jan, made the Collage... {Liz and Katie helped, too....}
It was Beautiful.


Family and Friends... came... from near and far.....
It was such a Gift... to see Everyone.

Peg and Mary S. 
Cindy and Tom...
oh my...



When it was time to read the Eulogies...
I was so Proud... of the Folks... who came forward.....
Dave... his Beloved... Friend... for 60 years.......
Kristi... our 'Fourth' Daughter...{Kristi and Sue Ann... : ) } was Beautiful...... when she spoke....
and... even our quiet... behind the scenes... Peg.... stood beside me.... and spoke...
what a Gift...
Cindy N. spoke... of his Love, like hers.... of our Beloved... Hounds.....
oh my...
Nicky... was there... looking on.....
{this... was.... tuff.... for all of us. }
Mary S. shared she and John's Mutual Love... of the Kitties...
 and of 'Munchkin', the little Kitten, she rescued... from us....
 {he was a dwarf.... that was born here... with health issues.... } 
John was so worried about, letting go.....
{ John had no idea... Mary...was as much...or More... devoted... to Kitties... than he was... at the time...
Mary kept him updated.... John... was so..... relieved... }
  She holds him... so very Dear....
 Her husband, Tom... sneaked Munchkin in...to the Hospital...shortly after they had gotten him... when she was given... 'the news'... and had her double mastectomy... oh my... }
Then...Hoss... who, with his Beautiful Children... visited John... at the Hospital......
so many times......
and... worked beside John....
Admired... and Loved...him....
spoke... so Eloquently....
oh my....
{Hoss reminds me... of my Dad.... when I watch him... with his... children... : ) }
I...did my Eulogy, first.... and.... rambled on... and on... I suppose....
I...had so.... very much.... to say......
{as you all know... I tend to go on... and... on....}
With everything that was going on... I didn't have time to write one... so....
it came straight... from my heart.
oh...my.
When I woke up... yesterday morning...
{didn't get to bed, until one.... was helping the Guys in the Shop, after it got too dark.....outside to work. They were working non stop.... to finish a motor in a Chevy...truck.... so our friend, Steven could get it home to Wisconsin today... 
{I'm sure... the Guys... 'Loved' my input... oh dear...a Million... Questions... and  'Did Ya's'.... 
I walked in... when I heard them fire it up.... for the first time...then stayed... to trouble shoot...
{oh dear... }
Hoss and Justin....
These Boys... get to work at the crack of Dawn... every day.
{between 5 and 6 a.m. }
Working 'til 1 a.m. is more like John's... Hours...
They... were Exhausted......
we.... all.... were. 
Katie... Little Justin...Lacey and Lance { Hoss's two.... Darling... Children far left and right...  }
stayed up... with Mark, Hoss, Brandon... and me.... until we got the Old Chevy... going....
the Guys had worked all week... changing that motor....
It's been one thing... after another...on this motor change....
{when Steven {The Chevy owner..and Friend...} was visiting, several weeks ago...Jiffy Lube changed the oil...then started it, without oil, or a filter....
and the motor locked up....
Steven... has been without a truck...since.... they had to get this done....
The new motor... after it was changed... kept over heating.....
I.... was concerned....
I thought it was the thermostat.... but... they assured me... it was New..... and it was a slim chance....it could be that....
they thought it was a warped head....on the replacement engine...that was provided to them.
oh my... oh my....
{that would have meant... taring everything....back...down. }
I told them.... we have had brand new... thermostats... be bad.... many times... over the years...
Thankfully... it was....that...
They changed it yesterday morning... {simple...} before taring the engine apart....
oh... my.
It's running.... Great!
{as good as any Chevy can.... : ) }
The First Word.... that came to my mind.....when my eyes opened.... as I laid.... next to Polly....
in the dark.... was....
"Run"
after all.....
most everything.... was ready to go....
for the Celebration....
Still had to give Jethro...a bath.....
and a little food prep....
but... I thought...
"They can handle all of that..."
I...didn't want to see this day.
I could have postponed this... for a hundred years.
I...knew... when this day.... was over.... 
another chapter... would close.
oh my....
I...was so right.
Today... has been, beyond... difficult.
Taking everything down....
Gathering up...the Beautiful Flowers.... to dry.....
oh my.
Thank God... for Liz... Peg....Mark....Katie...Kristi...Steven...Nick... Kelsey...{Scarlett and Little 'J' }
 Merry Jo...Wayne... and... Justin.
Justin...like his Dad... kept working, in the Shop.... for half of the day....
Many, Friends... and Family members... went inside.... and visited with him.... there....
God Bless...Them.
He came out... later... and...it was...Good. 
I opened the House... and let Folks, see.... John's Amazing.... Masterpiece......
They... were... Floored.
He did it all.... with Nothing.... 
Nothing....
oh my.
Tonight....
I played... Tammy, 'Another Lonely Song'....
That... is the one... that truly... truly... says how my Soul... feels....
I, would re write some of it.....for this time... 
I...have loved this song... since I was a young... girl.
What a double edged.... sword... my beloved music... has become.
This... is my version...

Time....
won't ease my Memory...
It's killing me... now.
and
Lord...how...I need him here....  
just to feel him near.....
and...
hear... him breathing.
Still....
the Night goes on...and on...
Another lonely song.... I'm singin'....
Lord....don't think bad of me....
 don't get mad at me......
You... know.... I'm...
weak.
And it couldn't cause... a whole lot of harm.....
to run.... away... from these arms....
cause... 
John's in His...
: )
I know... he is....
I know... he is...
but...
God,
I...
Love...
him.
And tho........ 
I should be stronger... like they... think...I am...
but...
it's the way... I am, now.
and Lord...
guess... I'll stay this way....
I can't play... this way....
just because... I'm lonely...
Still...
the Night goes... on and on...
Another lonely song....
I'm singin'....
Lord... don't look down on me....
don't frown on me....
let's just.... keep talkin'....



Yes.... The Lord... and I... have shared many... unspoken words..... these last, many days....
oh my.
Love... to you...
and... again... 
Thank You... to All.... who have 'Kept'... us... and continue...
to 'Keep'... us...
God Bless.... You All.
Barb C.
{Peg.... called on her way home....this late afternoon....
she was... sobbing....
said..... she felt so..... bad.....
leaving me.
Silly.... Girl.
She said.... she could feel.... the Sorrow.... that has me.... enveloped...... and it was... killing her... to see me... this way.
{and...here...I thought... 'The Hatter'.... had It All.... 'Together'... and Under His... Hat. : ) }
I guess... those who 'know' me....
'Know' me.
Please.... don't worry....
Pray...
: )
just...
Pray....
oh my....
That little March Hare....
what an Angel... she is... <3 }












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