Sunday, August 11, 2013

Even...a Bowl of Jello... can have a Mean...Right..Hook.... : )


She... didn't know me...
when I arrived...
She was sitting up... in a ....wheelchair...
having a Heartfelt conversation... with herself....
talking about...my Dad...
Her hair... was a mess...
I began... searching for a comb....to no avail...
then...
asked the nurse...if she could please...find one... 
{Mom was a Beautician... I always comb her hair... when I visit...}
As I ran the comb...through her hair...
gently...
she asked if I'd found her comb...
she had dropped it down the Well....
I said...
"yes... Mom... I found it...."
she asked... if I'd let the dog...out of the cellar...
he's trapped... in the cellar....
I kept combing her hair... and...holding her hand...
reassuring her...
the dog...was safe...
I'd gotten him...from the cellar...
It...was a Long...Journey...
this eve....
I was a Melting...Bowl...of Jello....
trying to keep...her...peaceful...
She was resting...quietly...when I left....
 
Then... had a major Boxing Match..with the attending Physician....
 I waited several hours... for him....tonight...
{ I was having a Heart Attack...inside...seeing Mom...this way... I had a copy run...of her meds... {everything Changes...Daily...}
I kept going over them...again...and again....
her color...is...White....her tongue...is thick....something...has totally changed...since yesterday....}
seems...he saw 'No Changes'... in Mom's demeanor...since Thursday......
{he met her...once...on Thursday....)
then asked....."have I visited... with...Hospice....?"
hmmmm....
: )
I said...Nope..No Changes....
Other than her asking me...repeatedly...to Retrieve her comb...from the Well...
and to Be Sure...the Dog...is safe...
and trying to sew her fingers together...with air...for thread....
and calling me...a 'Bastard'...a few times...
Nope....
Just the same...: )
all I can say is... as much...as I was a Bowl..of Jello... while reassuring Mom....
I was....dieing...inside...
not knowing...if...she is slipping away....
from us....
or...if it's drugs...an infection...or Oxygen....issues...
Seems... he didn't know those answers... either...
I see...even a Bowl of Jello....
has a Mean...Right..Hook....
{Figuratively...of course...
we sparred.... with Words....
and...Lot's...of 'em....: ) }
he's running more tests...
oh my...oh my....
and as for Hospice...
: )
Like I have told...the Last...Hundred Physicians and Hospital Social Workers...
over the last few years....
when Mom...is ready for them....
We'll be sure...and let 'em know....
: )
{ I remember... when...30...was Old...then...50...was Old...
 I don't say... when 'Old'... is now...
I do say... Life...is Life...
If You Enjoy...Living It...
You Should....
there are a lot....of prejudices.... towards...the Elderly...
in this..'Throw Away'...Society...
and...the Funny Thing Is...
We Think...
If we're Lucky... we'll get there....some day...
well...
 hope...
and...Pray...
there is...someone....
that can...speak for us...
when because of a drug...or chemical...imbalance...we can't...
Scary...
Very...
Scary....}
{I was 5... when this image...was captured...
as I look at the Husky.... Right Paw.... resting...on Mom's arm....
Neither of us...had any Idea... how very much....
the Huskiness... would be...needed...
45 years...later...
Thank God...for That Old Jersey Cow.... that provided...
the Nourishment...
to keep... the Bowl of Jello....
Tuff as Nails....
when...needed to be... }
{The Dr. and I...shook hands... at the end...of the Match...
If...I were fighting...for myself...I'd have been Dead...a Long...time ago...
but...
When it comes...to Those...I Hold Dear...
oh my....
: )
I... find Strength... I never knew....I had...}
 
 
 
 


1 comment:

Rita C. said...

Oh Barb,
How blessed your mom is to have you as her advocate! I was fortunate to be that for my mom, but I had help with one local and one distant sister, which sure made the load lighter.
I hope you've been able to satisfy both yours and your mom's needs. Best wishes to you. {Hugs}
~R