Thursday, November 15, 2012

Wish...I could be...more like..Flora Belle...

 
Flora Belle....
 
I received...the most Lovely 'Comment'...this morning... from my friend...Cindy N.
After reading it...I just sat here...and wept...
It was Cindy...simply asking...to come in the house...someday...
The first person...that came to mind...was my Great Grandmother...
Flora Belle Shuck... from Derby, Iowa...
She was my Dad's Grandmother...
Who...passed away...the year I was born...
She raised him...from when he was 4 years old...along with his slightly younger...and older brothers... Richard and Ted...... 
Not an Easy Task... in 1917...on a Small Farm... in Southern Iowa... at her advanced age...
He Idolized her...
and...she...him...
All of the wonderful...stories...Dad shared with me...about her...
She...was such a kind...and Loving...Woman...
She opened her doors... to Anyone...who needed a place to stay....a  meal.... or...simply an 'ear'...to listen...
She worked tirelessly...and...one of my Dad's...deepest regrets... in life...was when the Depression hit... Dad...was only 17....yet he did Everything he could...to save the Family Farm..where he was born..and raised... and couldn't do that for her....
{She had borrowed 3000. against the Farm...to pay bills... and lost the entire Farm...when she couldn't pay it back... That is why...I don't Borrow Money...}
It also...divided him, forever...from his estranged Father... who had the money to help....and didn't...
When Dad spoke of his Grandmother...... he melted...
That brings me back...to my tears...this  morning...
Cindy asked..if sometime...she could visit The House...
oh my...
It made me realize... how much... I am...not Like...Flora Belle...
My Home...should be Open...to Everyone... {used to be...}
But..frankly... I am so ashamed...that I can't keep it clean...
I don't want my Friends...to see it like this...
They deserve better...and so does the house...
I find...I work...so hard...attempting to keep the Boat Afloat...
that I have no time...to Swab the Deck...nor...the energy...
She thinks...it looks like a 'Museum'...from the images...
Far...so Very far...from it...
I think...she'll be disappointed....
I have gathered...things..I Love...because...of their Soulfulness... and the Faces I see... when I touch them...
Most...have chips...cracks... stains...Some...sort of damage...
{kind of like...myself...} but...they have found a Home...with me...
only...because...I Love them...and respect...their 'Journey'...
Not...because...of their monetary value...
I let go...of The...Best...{in other's opinion} to keep the Boat...upright...
Certainly..not...'Museum Quality'....
John and I...built the addition...ourselves...  I covered a million miles... gathering...and dismanteling old houses...for the old architecture...it took a couple of years... with a Tiny...Tiny Budget... {Thanks to Friends... who helped me locate as well...and Friends and Neighbors...who helped get the Bones up...and John..who worked by himself...with limited tools...and even more...limited funds...and Thanks...to The Carpenter Angels...that kept us Alive...}
I wish...I could be three people...
or...as Peg says... We could all win the Lottery...
so I could stay Home...and keep things..better...stay on top of everything...
and...be content....
But...that shouldn't matter...
I'm sure...Flora Belle's Home...wasn't neat as a pin...
Being a Farm Woman...raising 3 Little Boys...
Yet...she always... made Folks feel...welcomed....
I used to be that way...
We have had many Folks land here..over the years...and stay...with us...Teenagers...and Adults...
But...seems...since I opened the shop... and my life has been...Consumed... everything...has been off line...
The doors...are always...open...to Folks..in need... but.. I hate the thought...of 'visitors'... when the house is in shambles... and...most of the time...it is...
kind of like...me...
So....It broke my heart...when Cindy asked to see the house...
She should have been invited in... Long Ago...
and...for that...I am....
Truly...Sorry...
I don't know...how I can change it...tho...
If I'm not working...away...the Ship...is Sinking....
if...I'm not Home.... the house falls into a Hole...
It's...Frustrating...soooo Frustrating...
oh well...
I guess...
It Is...What It Is...
Love to Ya...
and Thanks Cindy...
We'll get together... soon...
Just...when ya visit....
Make it in the Evening...I'll keep the Lights...low...and leave the White Gloves...home... : )
Barb C.
{Cindy...when you are here during the Sales... my house is at it's worst... I have just come off the road...from the shows...thrown myself... into 'Sale' mode.... and The House...is the Very Last Thing.. on my list... I know...Mary S. would like to stay here...during Sale Time... but... there is No Way.... I can hardly Breathe... then...
 The Holidays... that's when I have a moment...to work in The House... I Hope...Hope...Hope... to invite a few friends...over... between Thanksgiving...and Christmas....  : ) YOU...being one of them... : ) }
 
I had a Million Miles...to cover...yesterday... then I watched Miss. Scarlett.... She was fascinated by the Old Cuckoo Clock.... and loved... watching the Little Bird...peek out... as I gently took the hands...'round and 'round...so she could see him.... She sat up...in the late 1800's High Chair... that came from an Old Millersburg Farmhouse... {It had lived there..it's entire life...}... { Dad's next...'Home Town'...} The Old Clock...is hanging...on the side..of the Cupboard..that came out of the  1850's Farmhouse... Dad...lived in... back in the 40's...} I realized...this... just...as I am writing...
Guess there's...a lot...of 'Dad'...here...and..a Little..of Flora Belle.. too....
Wish...I could keep this... just like this... but...within a day...the house...is covered in dust.... and Critter..hair...Wafts...of hair... I do...Love the Dogs...{The Cats...make me Crazy!!!! but...they Love John...and he, them... {I like them...too...but... they Push me...to my Limits! I never know...day to day...what I may find....they have done... They are Naughty!!!} I would never trade 'Clean'...for a Crittersless home....so.. guess...it is...what it is....And...friends that want to come by...better give me a little notice... so I can...pick up...

2 comments:

Cindy N said...

A house is made with sticks and stones but a home is built with love alone! You have a home that is full of love, memories and four legged animals! You live in heaven as far as I'm concerned!!You my dear friend are very very blessed and everyone who you have ever known are certainly touched by your beauty.

simplyiowa said...

Awww...Cindy...
I feel...very Blessed... to be touched...by Angels...like you...
I do...feel...Truly...Blessed...
Hope...I can get things together...and you will come visit...
I'll get the Tree up...and...we'll enjoy... the Holiday Spirit...
Love...to You.... : )
Barb C.