Saturday, April 7, 2012

Because...You Love Me....

When I listen...to this Beautiful Tune... I think...of a handful...of Folks...in my Life... that have been there for me...and held me up...in my lifetime....and without them...who knows...where I may be...today...
But mostly...I think of God...and Jesus...
These last several months...years...really have been so...hard on my Soul....
Among...other things.... a letter was sent...to one of my dearest friends...and customers....about me... anonymously...last September...
{No such thing...as anonymous.... God...always...shines a light....and...as so many times...before... He did with this...as well...quickly...}
It was difficult...to process... over the last many months...at the same time...Pegadoo...was diagnosed..... Mom...and her cancer...and another...traumatic...occurrence...happened...and...the struggle...of  simply...surviving...but...again...and again...when I was at my Darkest...and lowest point...soooo ready...to give up.....I was carried through....
One of the comments...was that I am a hypocrite...
My Journey...with the Lord...is His...and Mine...
A Personal...One...
All the other 'stuff'...in the letter...I really...don't recall...{ I have never held it in my hands...it was read to me...I didn't want to see it...or touch it...it was handed to the authorities...} and...don't care about...and... may be...true...in some folks eyes...
but...that statement...hurt...
I'll be the Very First to admit...
I drink...too much...smoke...and swear...and if...I have any wings...at all....they are Mighty Singed...
and..that...may be a hypocrite...to some....
I call it...a
 'Work...in Progress'....
But...
I Know...
God Loves...me....
And...I Love...Him...
More...than Ever...
I am sorry....for the Author...of the letter...
Sorry...I stirred...so much...hatred...
and..I do Love her...
and...to the others......who contributed to it...
knowingly... or...not...
I Love...Them...too...
Let those...without sin...cast the first stone...
It won't be me....
I judge...not...
It's all about the Journey...
This Journey...has made me grow....and Love...Deeply...
and...
be Stronger...
and... So Thankful...
On this Easter... I tear up...being...so very thankful....For Jesus...who died...for my sins...
maybe...more than I ever have...
Because....these last many months....I have been so very lost...
and Knowing...He Loved me....
Carried Me Through...
When...my trust....was lost...in most...everyone... including...myself...
He Carried me....
and...God...Bless...the Angels...who helped Him...
Love....and Have...a Most....
Happy...Easter...
Barb C.
{and...He Loves You...Too!!!! }
{The only reason...I mention this...is because...of all of the Good that came from it... at the time...it was fuel...on my fire....of Sadness...and Despair...coming...the last...cancer free moments...Peg and I shared....together...
 I was angry...with myself...for allowing it to steal our joy... for a long time......
but... along...with all the other...'things'...in my life...I have learned...and grown...from it ...and...it's...all Good...wow...what a 'Journey'...
There is...Beauty in the World...and....I am Thankful....for Everything....}
{I asked God..."why'... for these 'things'...  He Knew....the pain... I'd suffer...but it had to Go Through Him First... to get to me... He Knew.... The Good... that was to come...tho... It took me some...time...to get here.... oh my...}

11 comments:

Sisters' Garden and Bloom said...

Thank you SO much to John for repairing the concrete fountain that I broke--(on my foot!)...YOU are the angel that swoops in where you are needed without question---always willing, always caring, without hesitation!!! Thank you for being, just BEING you!!!...you have no idea what that "repair" on the concrete meant to me...(oh yes....I guess you might...I told you that whole story too :) )....without question---you are there!!! You are the real deal. Thanks Barb!!!love barb

simplyiowa said...

Oh...Sweet...Sweet...Barb H.
I gotta tell ya...
once agian...whatever feathers...I have...or singed pin feathers... I may have.... are making me come clean...
I Felt So Bad...about the little Statue's head...and your...nearly Broken Little Foot....
I am keeping the repaired one...and brought you...one...that was whole....
and...that was always my intent...I told Brandon, the day I was at your...place... I was going to see if you could find the AWESOME Repair...John had made!!
Love...to You...
Happy Easter...to You...and Yours...
Barb { Smokin' Winged} C.

simplyiowa said...

And...Sweet Pea...
Thank You...
for the Kind...kind...words...
They mean More...So Much More...than You...will ever know...
Love...Love....Love....
To You...

Betty G said...

I think God is alot like you. You find beauty in the broken, cracked, and cast-off things of this world and in the same way, He finds beauty in the broken, cracked and cast off people. Don't you see-He loves and values us who have singed feathers and tarnished lives. Because He knows our hearts and souls so well. And you have a wonderful and generous heart and soul. You are the real deal. And you are a blessing to so very many of us. Love to you~Betty

simplyiowa said...

Oh...Betty...
I am a battered soul...
and...I think...God works through...all of us...
I enjoy a Personal Relationship with Him...and talk with Him...throughout the day... I know...it's not how most people do... and I Stumble...Crumble...and Fall...a lot...
But...I Trust... Him...I know...He'll put me in my place...and even tho...there I times...I don't understand...'Why'.... I never question....anymore... things...always work ut...the way they should... there is always...a silver lining...{and...it may be mighty painful...getting to it...}
Once..Again...Love...to You...My Little Angel...from afar...
Barb C.
{and...Thank You...for the comment...}

Audrey @ Sweet Cheeks said...

I think that one of your most AMAZING gifts is your ability to BE the light for SO many other people...you always inspire me...remind me to believe in MY creativity and purpose...and you're RIGHT...I am being tested TOO ;) I'm glad we have each other and I hope you know how much I cherish your support and friendship. I can only HOPE to be as gracious through my trials as you have been...we all have lessons to learn...always, always ;) LOVE ya!

simplyiowa said...

Oh...Aud...
You leave me...Speechless...
I had debated for many months...to address the letter...
But...I think...{for many reasons...that just came to light...over the Easter Weekend....} It was meant to be...
I know the difficulities...you have been dealt...along with so many others...
We can't control, what others say...or do...
Only...what we do...{and sometimes...with my Irish Temper...that is a Stretch...}
That being said... I have never...hurt anyone...intentionally... and...when I have... done things...I know my Heart didn't mean...the way it came out...I say I am...sorry...
I make mistakes...many...
I also believe... People Throw Rocks...at Things That Shine... {Taylor Swift " Ours"...}
{they have no idea...how much Polishing...Painful...Polishing it takes...to keep the tarnish...from growing...and...there are still a lot of spots...that need a great deal...of polishing..}
They also...don't understand...How They Can... and Do Shine...themselves...if only...they would also...put themselves out there...and endure...a whole lot of Steel Wool...and...Be Kind...to Themselves...and Others...
We are all Diamonds...in the rough...and have wonderful Gifts...that God Gave us...
The Biggest...and Best Gift...Is...'The Journey'...Itself...
If...I hadn't stumbled...and Fallen... so many times...I couldn't begin...to see How Much...You Shine...and understand... The Trials...You Face...
A Friend said to me...concerning another matter...
" They are only men...and know not, what they do...."
I don't hate...anyone... I get hurt... and feel bad... but...I ...am not able..to hate... I see Good... In Everyone... {my biggest down fall...is...I neglect...to see that little bit of 'bad'...in the ones...I love the very most...and when it comes out...{and it does...because...there is no one...that is perfect} I am Shocked... {I'm learning...} Everyone...everyone...makes mistakes... Even the ones...I held...most dear}
Now...Please...Aud., Don't let Anything Stand in Your Way...
You are an Amazing Woman...I have known it...Seen it...Felt it...since the first time we met...soooo many years ago...
All you can do...is say.."Bless Their Hearts"...and Move Forward...Let that Wonderful Brain...That Never Stops...Keep Creating...
Please...don't let anyone....or Anything...Steal Your Joy...That's the Evil one...at his best.... and ... when he is called out on it...by The Angels...that are Always there...he doesn't stand a chance... Only..You...can give that away...
so...don't!
{So much...for being 'speechless'...another...Great Irish Trait!}
I Do...Love You...So...
and...Honey...You...Inspire...
Barb C.

Audrey @ Sweet Cheeks said...

Oh lordy...now I'm the one with tears ;)

simplyiowa said...

No Tears...!
Just Let That Light Shine!!!!
Love to Ya!
Barb C.

Betty G said...

Ladies-for some reason these lyrics from a song from Godspell popped into my head-
"So let your light so shine before men...
Let your light so shine...
So that they might know some kindness again ...
We all need help to feel fine (let's have some wine!)
You are the light of the world...! Keep smilin'!((((HUGS))))
Love ya~Betty :)

simplyiowa said...

LOVE IT!!!!
Betty...You Amaze!
and.....with my next glass of Wine...Cheers....To You!
Love...to You!
Barb C.