Monday, December 5, 2011

Ya'll Would have Been Proud...of me...

This is the ceiling...in the Big Room...where the Christmas Tree is... I sat there...last night...looking up...at the Christmas Bell....wondering...how...I was going to get through this...today...with Mom... I so... did not want to give her this news.... but...that other, person, who lives in my body...took over...and...totally handled it...just like...she always has.... she needs to hang around, more often... The one...that is always..boo hooing... needs to go away...}
I know...most of you...don't know me...and those that do...probably don't....as well as they may think....
Some folks...think I'm tuff...some...think...I'm weak....and the truth is...they are both right.... the one thing...I will say... is if I am in charge, of your care.... I'm the Best Body Guard...you could ever have... I have taken care of my folks, since I was a young girl....and this weekend...was a tuff one... I was blindsided... dropped to my knees... and...was lost....I simply didn't see this one coming..{neither did the surgeon...}
But....funny... I was such a marshmallow...all weekend....up to the moment, I walked up to her, this morning....
 then...when I faced my Mom
...to break the news to her...about the cancer... I laid it on her, with so much spin...she was almost happy to have it! don't ask me, how I do it...because...I even surprise myself....{and...I do not lie.... I always....tell the truth....}
We went to see the surgeon...his nurse almost spoiled it all...by sounding so sad... about the findings....Mom wasn't fazed a bit, by her tone... and said, "Yes... Barbie told me...all about it..." 
The nurse turned to me, and said, " You have talked to her?"....my reply..."Yes I have! and we know how Lucky she is....to have found this! and the Margins...are Clean...around the biopsy!...Lucky.. Lucky... Lucky!!!!"  and...I also...told her how fortunate she is, to have had this cancer happen...While getting ready for her surgery, to remove it, a couple of weeks ago....and as I helped her, into the hospital gown... I noticed a few spots, on her back...that I had the surgeon look at today....well... the ones that I thought were ugly...were fine! but...two cute little moles...were not...! So... when she has a skin graft, next week, on her leg...they will remove those..as well..Lucky!!! If she wouldn't have had that cancer, on her leg...I wouldn't have seen the cancer, on her back! oh my...
It's all good... 
but...
I Gotta Tell Ya...
I Am Drained.... 
{I am Smiling!}
But...
I Am...Drained...
Love, to You... 
Barb C.
{there is Always...a Silver Lining...if you look for it....I just hate...digging for that magnifying glass...sometimes...it's mighty hard, to see...}
Mom and I will have lots of appointments...in the next couple of weeks... I so wish... travelling wasn't so hard on her...that worries me more...than the procedures...oh my...

4 comments:

Sisters' Garden and Bloom said...

So happy to hear your mom and you can find yourself in good spirits with all of her health problems lately....wow...that is great....we were not so fortunate---my sweet little keris (new daughter-in-law) best friend and grandmother just found out last sunday that she was full of cancer---and today she has already slipped away---peacefully..in Gods care now! She was 83 years old----but incredibly hard at any age to see them go! We must count our blessings every day. Its been a whirlwind of all things lately!
Love to you my dear friend!!...Barb

simplyiowa said...

I am soooo Sorry...for You and Keris... I don't know what to say...accept...it sounded like she lived with quality...until, recently...that...is a Blessing...and, as you and I both know...this is a Journey, we are on... we will all be together, again... Give everyone Hugs... Love, to You...and Yours...
Barb C.
and...I feel Blessed to have found the words...today... I spent the weekend...in a cloud... but...Mom...would never see that...not ever...
We have to be Strong...for those we Love...when they need us so....
Hang in there...

Gatherings said...

Glad you made it through one tough day at least. One day at a time!!

simplyiowa said...

Yep...for today...my friend... that's good enough, for me...
Love, to You...
and...Hope, You are feeling better....you have been on my mind...and in my prayers...
Barb C.